Day 33

My cycle still hasn't started. My fertility chart says that I need to take a pregnancy test on Friday. I don't want to because I know it will be negative. I remembered today what happened back in January when I forgot a bunch of birth control pills. I had a 53 day cycle that lasted from January to March. I had to go to the doctor to get Provera to MAKE my menstrual cycle start.

I'm praying that is not the case this time. I'm trying to stay positive.

Productive

I was extremely productive over the weekend! I already posted about cleaning up the bedroom. On Saturday evening after I finished working, Brandon met me in Alabaster and we went to eat dinner. On Sunday, we kept the 4-year olds at church. We worked on touching up the white paint on the front porch after we got home. We went to the Back to School picnic the church hosted that afternoon.

Yesterday, Brandon finished repainting the front porch. I worked on cleaning up my office and the rest of the house. He did help me go grocery shopping and even cleaned out the fridge. We invited some friends (Jason & Tara) over for dinner last night. They helped us hang the new mirror from Kirklands! I had these cute Kirklands wall sconces, but had no idea what to do with them. Tara suggested this, and I love it! Brandon bought the picture the Christmas before we got married. He chose it because we wanted our wedding verse to be 1 Corinthians 13:8.


Our room is starting to look the way I'd like. I'm never fully satisfied! Ha! I just love minor remodeling. I'm calling it pre-pregnancy nesting. =) Now I just need to find some pretty brown curtains to tie the whole room together. I may have to make a trip to Old Time Pottery in the near future!

On another note, today is calendar day 32 (CD32). =/ Still no sign of "Aunt Flo." This is not a good thing--we did not have unprotected sex during the "fertile window." I just hope that it comes soon. I'd much rather have a 28 day cycle like normal women. I don't ever remember my period taking so long to start.

Since I cleaned so much last week and over the weekend, now I don't know what to do with myself! I just hope that we keep the house clean this time.

Cleaning

Today, I woke up and decided to clean up our bedroom. Brandon and I struggle to keep our room clean. I had bought a new comforter and some wall art yesterday and wanted the room to look as it should.

I bought this beautiful mirror at Kirklands yesterday. I only paid $53.92 with tax for it!

I had been shopping for a new comforter for a while. By a while, I mean almost a year. One day while walking through WalMart, I stumbled upon the most perfect comforter set. I spent $80 plus tax for the Comforter, 2 Queen Pillow Shams, and bedskirt. There are matching throw pillows sold separately($12.96) that I will be purchasing soon. I'm very excited about the new additions to our bedroom. I still need to choose a picture to have enlarged to hang in our room as well. I also need to find another lamp that is silver. The gold one in the picture is nice (and from Brandon's late grandmother), but I'd rather have one that's silver.

Other than the bedroom remodeling, I've had a pretty good week. I'm about to start getting more hours at work with football season approaching, so that will be nice. I get so bored at home. Also, I'm still trying to finish Christmas shopping (I have only bought 8 gifts as of yet), so the extra money will be nice.

Brandon starts working again on August 30th! I will have the house to myself again.

I made an appointment with my OB/GYN for September 20th to discuss TTC. I'm looking forward to meeting with her and discussing all of my concerns and such. I keep telling myself that it is all so close and Brandon and I will be TTC in a matter of months. =)

I just realized that I had nothing negative to say. Yay for me! =) Maybe this whole blogging thing is actually helping me.

Big Plans for the Future

Yesterday, Brandon and I painted the back porch. I suggested that it should match the front porch (white railing). Brandon agreed, so we bought paint and got to work around 10am. Somewhere around 3pm I was exhausted and feeling crispy, so we called it a day. After we ate dinner, we painted for another hour. When I woke up this morning, he was outside finishing up, so the porch was completely finished somewhere around 10am this morning. It looks absolutely beautiful! It's the simple things that truly make me happy.

I will finally have insurance starting in September. I haven't had coverage since I graduated in May. Luckily, I have been well, but I need to see my OB/GYN to talk with her about TTC. We're still set on TTC starting in December. I started taking prenatal vitamins this week. Everything I've read said that this is the time to start preparing my body for pregnancy. It's all so exciting and scary at the same time. I can't believe that by this time next year, I will be carrying a baby. I guess that I should start taking better care of myself--meaning quit the caffeine and start exercising again.

Over the weekend, we babysat Becca and Naomi. We had so much fun with them! Brandon and I are both pretty good with kids, but I don't think that I'll be praying for twins any time soon. At least the girls are both best friends! I'm glad that we're able to help our friends out so they can have dates too. Plus, we actually had fun and let the girls play with the new superhero toys. Girls can like superheroes too!


I don't really have anything else going on. I need friends who don't have kids. It's hard for me to be around the women in my small group at church, because I'm the only "non-mom" as I like to call it. I feel isolated when they start talking about their children. I know they don't mean to only talk about children, but they do. I hope I'm not that way once I have a family. I would never want to make anyone else feel the way that I do now. I've talked to them about it before, but I'm sure that they forgot.

Well, I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I have many blessings in my life, and just need to re-focus on the good things. December's not that far away. =)

A New Me

I realize that I haven't written anything in a while. I've seen much improvement in my attitude over the past month. Reading through the Love Dare, along with other Christian marital texts has helped guide and shape me into the wife that I want to be.

About a week and a half ago, Brandon and I decided that I should stop taking birth control. It made me feel unbalanced. It also had some other strange side effects that I could no longer handle. So, after 7 years, I am now birth control free. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. I found a helpful website to keep up with my cycles. I'm new to the world of fertility charting, but I figure I better practice for when we decide to start trying to conceive (TTC).

As far as TTC is concerned, I believe that we will start actively trying around the first of the year. For some reason, I see us actually conceiving in December. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but when I look at the December calendar I get this happy feeling. For now, I'm just praying that my body functions correctly and that I ovulate this month. I think that I am, but again, fertility charting is still pretty new to me.

Also, Brandon put in his two weeks notice with his job. Hopefully, he will only be home for the month of August. I'm a little nervous because we don't know when he'll start his other job. I'm trying to trust God and my husband on this one.

I feel like there is so much going on in our lives right now. I'm just trying to take advantage of all of the blessings that God has given me.

Attitude

I have a poor attitude. I've known this for a long time. I have to make a constant effort to be nice to others. Is this normal? I don't think so. Maybe I'm just a mean person.

I've been trying to be better with Brandon. I just feel like I have so many hormones making me crazy that I can't control myself. It's easier to just be mean. I have to put forth so much effort to keep from being "ugly" to him--as well as others. I haven't been to church for the past 2 weeks so I'm sure that has something to do with it. When I'm at church, I have to struggle to pay attention. I don't know if it's because I haven't been in school for a while or what. I have no attention span when I'm there. I'm always thinking about something else that I need to do like cleaning or cooking.

I just need a change in my attitude. I truly want to be happy.

Anniversary

Well, our anniversary was fabulous! We went to our favorite restaurant on Saturday evening where Brandon surprised me with a beautiful peridot ring!

We went and looked at tattoos after dinner and put down a deposit. We go tonight to get inked! I'm a little nervous and excited all at the same time! I haven't been tattooed since I was 18!

On Sunday, we went to church, lunch, and to a movie. We also ate some one-year old wedding cake which was actually pretty good.

Brandon was off work yesterday, so we laid out at the pool for about 4 hours. Brandon got way too much sun, but it was a nice day. It was nice to have a fun day where he wasn't checking his phone every five minutes. Also, having two consecutive days together was enjoyable. I sometimes feel like we're slipping away from each other because he's always at work and I'm always grumpy when he's home.

Overall, our anniversary was good. I couldn't imagine being married to anyone else. I don't think anything could have made our one year anniversary better.

One more day...

Tomorrow's the big day. Our one year anniversary is almost here! Last night, we went to eat Mexican food as usual and then stopped by a tattoo shop. I told Brandon that I would rather get a tattoo together than any jewelry for our anniversary. Tattoos are the gift that keeps on giving. We didn't see anything there that we liked, but we spent an hour online last night browsing. We're thinking of a locket and key. Of course, he gets to have the key and I get the locket. I'm hoping that we'll be sure by the end of the day.

We're having dinner at our favorite restaurant in Columbiana this evening (Bernie's on Main). Maybe we'll get inked afterward!

For the big day tomorrow- I have a bottle of Chilton County Peach Wine from the winery where Brandon proposed. I found the actual wine bottle from the winery we drank on the day we got engaged. I wrote our names on it, along with our wedding date. I dug out my beautiful Lenox cake plate to have the petrified wedding cake. I bought a hat that Brandon had been talking about as well. Tomorrow's going to be more sentimental for us than anything. We've overcome so many obstacles this past year. I'm so glad that we've made it to this point, and now know that we can overcome anything.

Hopefully a year from now we'll be celebrating 2 years and an addition to our family. =)

Anniversary

So, our one year anniversary is in 3 days. I can't believe that it's been a year. Brandon and I joke that it often feels like we've only been married for a few months, or sometimes, a few years.

The past few months have been much better. I graduated and that took away a lot of stress for me. Now, I just need to find a job.

I'm going to lose my mind if I stay home too much longer.

Anxious

Well, today's the day. I have avoided the GI for approximately a year. Now I must go back.

Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to be "normal." To not feel so sick and vulnerable all of the time. I am so hopeful that today's visit will at least give me more information about why I feel this way so often. A label would even be helpful as to describe what's wrong.

I just want to feel the way that a person my age should. What did I do to inherit all of the problems that I have?