I miss blogging

The title says it all. To be honest I'm still struggling with being a new mother. I seriously have no idea what I'm doing most days. 

Since I last wrote we have continued to have a fussy baby. The new medicine is helping Ellie's acid reflux, but she has such a gassy belly. We are sick of the mylicon drops! They do NOT help Ellie. A neighbor had suggested gripe water and we've seen little to no difference from them either. We purchased the Windi and it did not help as much as we expected either. :( 

I've cut out all forms of dairy from my diet.  I have maybe one 8 oz Sprite daily just for something different to drink. I've drastically changed the amount of carbonated drinks that I consume to help with Ellie. I second guess each meal before I eat thinking about how it will affect miss priss. 

We've been supplementing my breast milk with Enfamil Nutramigin that has NO cow milk. Ellie will only drink the formula if  it's mixed with my milk. It does make me happy that she prefers Mommy's Milk! We've also been adding a little rice cereal to her bottles to help with the reflux. I was worried about over feeding her, but I read where lots of other moms were adding the cereal to their reflux babies bottles as well. 

There's no denying that I'm an attachment style parent. I read about it before Ellie was born and knew that was going to be me. I knew that we would co-sleep in the same room but that wasn't enough for our Ellie. People don't often share this but I'm going to........ We bedshare. There- I said it. That is the ONLY way that our daughter will sleep. We've swaddled her, and she cries when she's put down away from us. I'm sure I will get some nasty comments about letting Ellie sleep in the bed with us but were just trying to survive. I wake up so often to make sure Ellie is comfortable and I no longer need my pillow to sleep. I so hope that one day Ellie will sleep on her own, but I do like having her close to me. 

Colic....... There's no denying that Ellie is a colicky baby. She starts crying each afternoon anywhere from 1:30 pm onward until bedtime. Thank goodness she is comforted by the sound of the vacuum cleaner! I have an app on my phone that mimics the sound and it is great at helping soothe our sweet girl. The world's just too big for her. 

Let me say that PPD and colicky babies don't go we'll together. But I am proud that I opened up to my husband and family and got the help I needed. I've been on the lowest dose of Prozac for about 5 weeks now and I know that it's the only reason I have not pulled my hair out so far. I prayed and prayed for a child, but was not prepared at all for her to cry for no reason for hours on end. I am just getting a handle on it, and she is beginning to find comfort in just hearing my voice. It's been a rough 7 weeks here at the Boyington house but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I am in love with Ellie and can't imagine life without her. God is good.

(Please excuse any typos because I'm writing from my phone while Miss Ellie is asleep in my arms.)