Monday, March 29, 2010

Lack of Satisfaction

Lately I have felt dissatisfied with everything; well, everything except Brandon. I feel so disconnected from the world. Is it my constant obsession with completing assignments? Will this feeling go away once I'm finished with graduate school?

It's so difficult feeling that I'm at a different stage in my life than so many others around me. I am constantly feeling out of place and isolated. Sometimes I just want someone to talk to about the events occurring each day. Although Brandon is my best friend and the one that I want to share my life with, I need other people to talk to as well.

I just wish that I could make this feeling go away. I'm positive that it has to do with my lack of prayer and quiet time in the past months. I haven't given everything to God. I've been trying to figure everything out on my own.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

First Post

So I haven't blogged in ages. I thought that this would be an effective way to express my feelings rather than complaining and crying to Brandon all of the time. Here goes...

I'm actually in a great mood at the moment. I'm just exhausted for no apparent reason. I'm almost positive that within a few hours my mood will change and I will find something to be angry or upset about. And of course, that emotion will all be directed at Brandon. I hate that it happens like that, or that I feel like I cannot control how I feel when I'm around him. I always make up excuses, telling myself that it's just because I'm tired or sick or stressed.

That's enough for now.