One Month Away and Thank You

We are one month away, or 30 days out from our estimated due date.  My mind can barely comprehend how quickly this pregnancy has flown by.  And when you're talking about a pregnancy achieved by Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART), you're talking about ONE. LONG. PREGNANCY!

Our In Vitro Journey began on May 5 last year when my new cycle started.  From there I took BCP, added Lupron Injections, began another cycle, added stimulation drugs (Follistim and Menopur) and made it to our Egg Retrieval date on June 20.  When we arrived at the clinic on June 25 for our tentative transfer, it was evident that I had severe Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS) and needed to be admitted to drain the excess fluid from my abdomen.  Talk about disappointment, but I was in so much pain that I never cried over our cancelled embryo transfer.  I laid in a hospital bed for five days and looked to God for the answers.  He had never stopped seeking me and I finally allowed myself to rely on Him instead of taking the situation into my own hands.

We let my body heal over a rest cycle and began our first Frozen Embryo Transfer on August 12.  If you're keeping track of your pregnancy from your last menstrual period (LMP), our pregnancy with Elliana started on August 12.  That makes this one super duper long pregnancy!  We failed our first lining check, but took one extra week to  thicken the lining of my uterus and were able transfer two beautiful embryos on September 6, 2012.

On September 10, 2012 I took a HPT and it was positive.  All blood tests confirmed pregnancy and here we are today one month away from the estimated arrival of our daughter.

God answered our prayers to have a child and Brandon and I will forever be thankful.

We would not have endured our journey without some very special people in our lives.  God sent us some special people at different times throughout our journey to help us along the way.

• Sheri, my amazing sister-in-law.  She too endured her own battle with infertility and provided me with support from the first day that I threw out my birth control.  She told me everything that she knew and always helped me find answers when she didn't happen.  I called her first from leaving all of my appointments.  I couldn't have gotten through all of this without her.  She stood by my side through our infertility and pregnancy, and she will stand by my side as I deliver Elliana.
• Dad.  There's not enough space here to tell all that he did for Brandon and me.  I will be writing about my father's love and support in another blog post before Elliana arrives.  What he did for us must be shared.
• Joy, my daughter's (middle) namesake.  She covered us in prayer from the moment she met us.  She allowed me to love on her own miracle child when times were hard.  She went to appointments when Brandon could not and even accompanied both us us when we needed another set of ears to hear.  She showed up to the hospital with goodies when I was admitted.  During our embryo transfer she held Brandon's hand and prayed over me during the procedure.  She was always a positive voice to me and just knew that the transfer would work and give us a child.
• Tonisha, my long-distance friend from Oklahoma. Her love for us has been written in the blog more than once.  She donated much needed medication to us and sewed Elliana's first baby quilt.  She showed me God's love and how He can use anyone to catch your attention.  She and I share different views about religion, but she showed me what it is to love your neighbor better than anyone else could.
• Liz, my college friend turned best friend.  We never seemed to lose touch like most people do when they graduate.  She too had her fair share of trouble when it came to getting pregnant, and was always there to lend a supportive ear.  There were many dinner and drinks nights when we had received unsettling news.  She was here with dinner when I had surgeries and even showed up to the hospital with a baby to just sit with me once before they wheeled me back.  She brought me good food in the hospital, presents when we confirmed our pregnancy, pretty pink cupcakes to celebrate Elliana's gender, and is hosting my baby shower.  She's such the perfect Southern woman and I'm trying to take some tips from her.  She's not your traditional Proverbs 31 woman, but she's pretty dang close in her own way. 
• Jennifer, my former coworker and friend.  God bless her heart, she had to hear me cry and complain so much through our infertility and pregnancy,  BUT she never got upset by it and let me vent.  She always reminded me to find the positive and "silver lining" in every situation.  She researched stones for fertile properties and gave me a rose quartz to wear.  She somehow survived all of my crazy hormonal days and hot flashes and still likes me.  There's a special place in Heaven for her.
• Paul, my former boss.  Not many men understand the desire of a woman to have a child, but he did.  He knew upon hiring me that my greatest desire was to start a family.  He knew more about my follicles, endometrial lining, and hot flashes than any man other than my husband and fertility doctor ever wanted to know.  He always told me that my family came first and supported our journey.  Asking for time off for fertility procedures was never a problem, and I can remember him calling to check on me before surgeries and while I was in the hospital.  I was lucky to work in a loving environment that supported me.
• Tiffany.  My pregnancy would have felt different without her.  After we announced that we were expecting, so many other women in the church also said that they too were pregnant all around our due date.  Tiffany told me in person after her first test.  I think she knew that it would be easier for me to hear it from her.  Our due dates are two days apart and she has given me so much support.  Because it took us so much to achieve our pregnancy,  I still found myself jealous of other women who were expecting, but never her.  I completely ignored other pregnant women except for her.  I just know that our daughters are going to be best friends.
• Rachel, my former coworker and surrogate daughter.  How many 17 year old girls know how to administer fertility drugs?  I didn't keep up with how many injections Rach gave me, but it was a LOT.  She was nervous on the first few but then it just came as second nature.  She attended "mom functions" with me at church, gave me a mother's day gift, and spent the night with me when Brandon traveled.  She's well beyond her years already and has such a big heart for such a young girl.
• Nicole, a lost connection from college.  In her own infertility journey, Nicole found me and we started talking.  It's always nice to be able to talk to someone in person who is also battling infertility.  I'm so happy that she's 10 weeks behind me in her pregnancy with their son, Isaac.  
• Our family.  They were all so excited when we called saying that we were pregnant and even more excited when we found out her gender.  Elliana is the FIRST granddaughter (and great-granddaughter) on Brandon's side of the family and the FIRST grandchild (and great-grandchild) on my side.  
• Our faith family.  Calera First United Methodist Church has never stopped covering us in prayer. Terry and Carolyn prayed over us many times and annointed us with oil.  Terry made hospital appearances when I wasn't even sure he knew I was there!  I'm not sure how many women saw my hiney when I'd search people to help with progesterone injections, but they were all there to hold my hand and laugh at the joys of our pregnancy.  The previous church we attended never provided us with much support so I was astonished at the outpouring of love we received when we opened up about our infertility.  Elliana will have the biggest family because of the faith family that God gave us.

There are so many other people who influenced us along this journey.  It would take days for me to write about all of them.  Again, I am finding myself full of sentiment these days and I want it all recorded before I forget these feelings.  I'm looking to this blog post as the thank you card that can never fade away.

Beta #2 Results

Beta #1 on 9-14-12:  67
Beta #2 on 9-21-12:  1291

That's a doubling time of 39.36 hours to those of you who understand the terminology.  (I'm still figuring out the hCG levels and such myself)

My estrogen is 168 and progesterone is 67.  For now, I will stay on my Estrace 2mg twice daily and PIO injection 2cc each evening.

From the beta numbers it looks like there's one Baby Sneakers, but we are excited nonetheless.  =)  After waiting so long, we are pregnant.  Today's numbers are definitely reassuring.

We are scheduled for our first ultrasound next Friday!

Mommy's Appointment

Today, Mommy is five weeks pregnant with you.

This morning I woke up feeling some sharp pains in my belly, but the nurses told me that it's alright.  My body is just growing to make room for you!

We went to see the angels at ART again this morning for another blood test.  Miss Ava told me that I shouldn't be drinking any dark caffeinated drinks.  Boo!

The numbers looked good today, and again confirmed that you are growing.  It looks like there's one Baby Sneakers growing in Mommy's tummy and we couldn't be any happier.  Mommy and Daddy will get to see you on an ultrasound next Friday.  God is so amazing!

Mommy bought you some presents today.  It was more fun looking at stuff for you than for me (and I never thought I would feel that way about shopping.)  I found you two cute little stuffed animals.  I'll go ahead and admit that you will be spoiled, but we have waited so long for you.

Beta #2 Today

We have our second blood test at 8:15am today.  I hope it doesn't take them all day to call us back again!  The plan is to have a high number and schedule our first ultrasound next week.

Even though Brandon and I have been over the moon excited the past 2 weeks, one of our dear friends is hurting.  Toni at Who Is This "Fertile Myrtle"? is having a terrible time.  With her second IVF attempt, she got pregnant and her numbers failed to rise.  The doctor told her to stop all supplements and wait for her beta to decrease.  Instead, her beta numbers continued to rise and the doctor confirmed an ectopic pregnancy.  As of last night, she was at the hospital getting the shot (which I assume is methotrexate).  She has went above and beyond for Brandon and I, and we both are so saddened at her situation.  Please send her your love and prayers!

I will be sure to update later this afternoon with my levels and see where we're going from here.

Mommy's Obsession

Proof of Pregnancy!

9-12-12

More Proof!

9-13-12

Such pretty lines!

9-14-12

9-15-12

Before you, Mommy had only seen two positive pregnancy tests.  That pregnancy did not last long and Mommy was heartbroken.  It took almost a year before I saw two lines again.  

Mommy has now stopped taking tests like a crazy lady.

Keep on growing in there, Baby Sneakers.  Mommy and Daddy already love you (y'all) so much!

Early Beta Results

We went to the doctor on Friday (at 8dp6dt), and received our beta results.  I know, we went early! Surprise!!

My results:

Beta  67

Estrogen  153 

Progesterone  63

For those of you who don't understand infertility language, 

we are pregnant!

 I started testing positive on Monday, September 10.  

You have no idea how hard it was to keep our positive tests secret! 

In all honesty, I did a terrible job of keeping the positive tests secret.  Some of you pulled it out of me (cough cough Eleanna & Erica cough).  Some of you just knew that I was already pregnant-LaShawn, Stephanie, Joy!  I have walked around with the biggest grin since Monday.  

Brandon and I can honestly say that we knew we were pregnant from day one.  

We were both shocked to see the positive test show up so early on Monday morning.  It was barely a shadow of a line, but it was there.  The line grew darker each day!  

On Thursday, Sheri convinced me to call ART and ask if it was possible to come in for my beta a few days early.  Thankfully, they allowed it.  

On Friday morning, Brandon watched them draw blood from my arm, having no doubt that it would provide us with happy news.  It has been so difficult to keep this from you, my readers, but too many people who know us read my blog now.  We wanted our family and faith family to hear our news from us first.  

Our faith family has been our rock through this journey, especially with our IVF and FET cycles.  

We are so excited to now officially announce that we are expecting our blessing from God.  

This what I said at church this morning.  

It's an excerpt from my pregnancy journal to our baby(ies).  

I am thankful that God has blessed us with you.  

It's been a long road to get where we are today, but God has strengthened us and guided our path.  

My prayer is not for you to have an easy life, but for you to trust God when life is overwhelming.  

Your life has purpose and meaning.  

You were prayed into existence.  

Do not ever forget that.

Photo credit:  Shannon

Photo credit:  Shannon

Our next beta is scheduled for Friday, September 21.  

As of today, I am 4w2d (four weeks and two days) pregnant.

It will still be at least another week to two weeks before we get to see our little Baby Sneakers(plural?)

Really Pregnant

We really are pregnant.  The blood test confirmed it.  We spent hours telling everyone the happy news.

God is so good.  You are our miracle and we will thank God daily.  My heart is so full of joy, yet it aches for all the other mothers still waiting for their little ones.

I am thankful that God has blessed us with you.  It's been a long road to get where we are today, but God has strengthened us and guided our path.  My prayer is not for you to have an easy life, but for you to trust God when life is overwhelming.  Your life has purpose and meaning.  You were prayed into existence.  Do not ever forget that.

Official Test Day

Mommy went to the doctor for the official pregnancy test today.  This morning, Daddy and I saw another pretty second line on the home pregnancy test.  We didn't have to be too nervous on our way to the appointment.  =)

It seems like it's been an eternity already, just waiting on someone to call me back with the results.  We are certain that you are growing inside of Mommy, but we'd like some reassurance from the doctor.  

Sooner Appointment

Mommy called the doctor today and convinced them to let me come in sooner for a blood test.  The nurses were upset that I tested early, but understood the anticipation I must be feeling.

Mommy is so excited to have a real doctor's test confirm that you're in there tomorrow!

Blessing

Mommy told Grandad today that she has seen three positive pregnancy tests.  He was so happy.  I told Grandad that I was finding myself tired and cramping a lot during the day.  He told me to ask for an angel when I begin to feel that way.

So many people are praying for you.  Eleanna was asking when I would start testing and Mommy smiled.  I didn't even have to tell her anything more.  She just knew!  It's hard to keep secrets from all of those who have prayed for our little family to grow.

You are a blessing from God.  Remind me that when you break my favorite sunglasses, spill red juice on the carpet, keep me up all night, and come in late for curfew.  Remind Mommy how much she prayed for a child.

Tonight's Progesterone Injection

I must say that this will forever be one of my 

most memorable injections...  

I am so thankful to have sweet friends who give me my shots when Brandon's away.  

*Sorry for the pictures of my hiney, but it comes along with infertility territory!*

Kendra instructing Joy on how to give an intramuscular shot (in the hiney, obviously)

Kendra instructing Joy some more

Joy injecting me after saying, "Holy Crap" and not realizing that she had to plunge the entire needle in my hiney!

Thank you, Joy and Kendra!  
They say it takes a village to raise a child... our faith family has went above and beyond already.

Go Team Baby Sneakers!

3 Weeks Pregnant

Right now Mommy is considered 3 weeks pregnant.  At this time, most Mommies don't even know they're pregnant yet.

You're already making me very sleepy and certain foods sound yucky!  I want to shout it from the rooftops that I'm pregnant, but it's probably better to wait until we hear the news from the doctor's office.  Who knows...there could be two of you in there!  A large handful of people know about you already.  Mommy has a big mouth!  So many people have prayed for you and I've wanted even more prayer now that I know  you're in there!  

"Father, in Jesus' name, I confess Your Word this day over my pregnancy and birth of my child."  

You are the size of a sesame seed.

One More Week

One of the advantages of an IVF or FET cycle is the abbreviated "two-week-wait."  Three to six days of this two week time span are spent waiting for your embryo transfer.  As of today, we only have to wait one more week until we see results with numerical value.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about...
Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG) is the hormone secreted during pregnancy.  On September 17, they will look for this hormone in my blood.  Anything less than 5 is considered not pregnant.  Anything over 25 is considered pregnant.  From the initial blood test, my hCG levels should double every 48-72 hours to show a healthy, sustainable pregnancy.  In other words, we'll still be on pins and needles for another week or so.  I will go back every two to three days for more blood tests.  Once the levels are between 1000-2000, we will be able to have a vaginal ultrasound to see what's developing!  (for more information go HERE)

If only my clinic did pregnancy tests over the weekend.  I was so disappointed when I saw my beta scheduled for September 17.  In some ways, that seems like an eternity away.  I'm sure that I will blink my eyes and Monday will be here!

As far as symptoms are concerned, I'm feeling great other than side effects from the progesterone injections.  I'm now putting a heating pad on the injection site each evening to get rid of "the lumpy butt."  Since Saturday, I've been tired, but my body has gone through a lot.

Brandon and I continue to remain hopeful and positive.  We see no room for any negative thoughts.  Thank you to everyone who has continued to check on us the past few days.  I cannot wait for next Monday!!

Paperwork & Waiting

Today, I thought I would share some of the paperwork they gave us yesterday.  We signed consent to the embryo transfer, along with consent that we understood the high likelihood of conceiving twins/multiples.  We had to sign our discharge instructions and probably some other stuff I don't remember now!

We have shared so much with you already.  Many of you reading are going through fertility treatment yourself, and the rest of you are simply following our journey to provide support.

From now until September 17 will be one of "the longest waits" we'll ever endure.  My body already feels pregnant.  I've felt that way since I started taking my progesterone supplement.  Within the next few days I just hope and pray that the embryos implant and take root!  (When we completed our IUI cycle last October, I actually felt implantation.)

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  Brandon's going to the football game with JR tomorrow and I plan on crafting and going to sweet Nesia's 1st birthday party.  Brandon is leaving on Tuesday next week and coming home on Thursday.  Randal's birthday is the following Sunday so we'll have lots of celebrating/pranks at work.  I'm super positive that I'll keep myself occupied for the next week, but it's going to be one of the longest weeks ever!

Recap of Transfer Day

Waiting to sign in

Joy, LaShawn (Joy's Mom), and Nesia (Joy's baby-cutest baby ever) went with us today.  Joy has already been to two of my other appointments at ART.  She went previously when Brandon was out of town, and went with us when we found out that we were going to be able to move forward with our FET.  There was no doubt in my mind that I needed her there on our transfer day!

Me in my flattering robe

That room gets cold so I brought my fuzzy socks
Plus, they're pink & blue!

I can't remember what he was saying here

They were hilarious getting all gowned up

Getting Joy all situated

They gave him the hair nets for his shoes

These two kept me laughing while waiting to be taken into the procedure room!

He's ready for surgery-haha!

Surprisingly enough, I never got too nervous this morning.  On the way to ART, I started feeling nauseated.  We stopped at McDonalds for a happy meal and then I was pretty good.  Brooke gave me a Valium once I got dressed in my gown and I just laid in my little hospital bed.

Sneakers, me, and the cute little bear ART gave me

I think it's awesome that they give you a little teddy bear to commemorate the occasion.  It's little shirt reads "A snuggly bear because we care! ART Fertility Program of Alabama!"

Joy and me before being taken to the transfer room

We went into the transfer room, and wow-it was great to be in there and not be as nervous as the last time.  I could remember shaking uncontrollably because I was so nervous about the egg retrieval process.  Brooke still vividly remembered me from my tentative transfer day/hospitalization day back in June.  She was excited to see me back to myself again.

Joy prayed for us before everything got started.  Brooke even joined us.  It was such a beautiful time.  My feet couldn't stop dancing because I was so excited!

I look terrified! Really, I just had to potty because my bladder had to be full for the transfer

Nervous-Excitement waiting on Dr. Allemand

There's never a dull moment with Sneakers

We had to sign so much paperwork today!  They kept laughing, wanting to make sure I had it all signed before the Valium kicked in!

Once Dr. Allemand arrived, he gave us some awesome news.  When they thawed our embryos, they were looking for 50% or greater expansion.... One of mine expanded 100% and the other 80%.  In Brandon's words, that was like using one fresh embryo! Also, they only had to thaw the two, so we still have 4 remaining frozen embryos for later use.  Once he told us this, Brandon said he felt immediate relief!  For once, I wasn't worried.  I was a picture of perfect peace today (except when I had to go to the potty!). 

I wish I could say that the transfer process itself was a piece of cake, but when you have extreme pelvic pain issues, no pelvic exam, etc. is ever easy.  Dr. Allemand made sure to talk me through the entire process. When someone says they're going to swab your cervix, it's not exactly comfortable!  Thankfully I had Brandon holding my hand and Joy's hand on my head.  Everyone kept talking to me to keep me from panicking.  Of course I broke out in a hot flash, but I tend to do that during procedures.  Luckily, the actual process of transferring the two embryos didn't take near as long and the preparation.  They gave me three different pictures of my belly throughout the process! I would post them, but they're difficult to "read" if you don't know what you're looking for.

Resting after the transfer
Anxiously waiting to be allowed to go to the potty!

Nesia gave us lots of "baby dust" today

Afterward with my bear
LaShawn said I looked different already =)

Today was surreal.  I cannot believe that we transferred two amazing embryos today!  For now I guess I'll refer to them as Sneakers & Sneakette.  I mean, we did have to sign paperwork saying that we knew the likelihood of twins was high! ;-)

I'm keeping up with everything relating to this cycle on my FET page!

Today's the Day

This is it!

I didn't think I would be able to go to sleep last night.  Brandon has slept on the couch the past two nights because his sinuses have been bothering him.  It was his decision, not mine-promise!  He's been terrified of me getting sick these past few days.  I did wake up an hour early this morning because I was so excited.  I'm sure I'll pay for that later today.

At church last night several people stayed around after bible study to pray over us.  Terry (our pastor) anointed our heads with oil as everyone gathered around, laying hands on us.  Surprisingly enough, I didn't cry, but felt peace.  That is something that I know many women are lacking on the eve of their transfers.  At this moment, I truly believe that this endeavor will provide us with a healthy pregnancy.  There's no room for any other negative thought.

If for some reason this transfer doesn't end with a pregnancy and take-home baby, I know that I will be upset.  Anyone would.  But I feel like God has given me a glimpse of the big picture.  I know that I am lucky to have found my purpose-my calling.  I wouldn't wish infertility on anyone, but it has brought me so much closer to God and my husband.  Also, I wouldn't be connecting with women throughout the world if I didn't have these struggles.  The Infertility, Pregnancy & Infant Loss, and Adoption community is an amazing network of women.  These ladies build each other up with support and love.  This day would be so much harder to face without them-knowing that they are cheering for me.

My emotions are all over the place.  For those of you who know me IRL, I saw that same Jiff commercial this morning and left the room (I was moved to tears last week)!  No tears earlier, but now I'm all weepy.  I have the good cries.  I have no idea why I even wore eye makeup because I'll have cried it all off by the end of the day.

Thank you for all of the support.  My phone has been going off like crazy all morning.  =)  Y'all are amazing and we couldn't do this without YOU!

Day 4 in the Hospital

I can't believe that I've been in the hospital for four days.

Last night was rough to say the least.  I've started getting itchy from all of the Lortab that I've been taking.  They gave me Benadryl yesterday because I was clawing myself to death.  Well...  let's just say that

Benadryl + Lortab + Courtney= disaster

My evening nurse came in around 9:30pm to give me my evening Lortab and Valium.  I was only asleep about two hours when I awoke terrified from a nightmare.  My nurse happened to be in the room and calmed me down and gave me a glass of water.  I went back to sleep and awoke again about an hour later.  This time I was freaking out.  I was panicked.  I made Brandon wake up and sit with me.  I couldn't explain it, but I was terrified.  He prayed with me and I was then able to go back to sleep.  That only lasted about another hour.  I woke up this time nauseated.  I hit the call button for the nurse and told her that I was having trouble sleeping.  At this point, I had taken 2 Lortab 7.5s and a Valium.  There is no reason why I should have been awake!

My evening nurse is so amazing.  She could tell that I was rattled and just needed to walk around.  She helped me get dressed, unhooked my IV, and walked with me to the nurse's station.  She and the other night nurses talked to me until I couldn't stand up anymore.  When we returned to my room, it was time for more pain meds.  My nausea and dizziness was getting worse so she gave me Phenergan too.  I slept soundly the rest of the night.  I was so tired.  Brandon and I have kept our usual schedule and been waking up around 6:30-7am the previous mornings.  We both slept until about 8am this morning.  The nurses came in to get my vitals, but I was delirious.  When Dr. Allemand came in, we actually woke up!

Here were my questions for him along with his responses:

• I've had trouble emptying my bladder completely, but he assured me that was normal after OHSS
• My nausea has returned.  He told me that the symptoms of OHSS would continue to come and go.  It doesn't just disappear.

He allowed the nurses to completely disconnect me from my IV today!  He said that my blood work looked good as well.  My potassium was lower today while my calcium was higher than yesterday.  He said that my body would regulate that on it's own.  Dr. Allemand's plan is for me to go home tomorrow.  I'm so excited!  =)  He said that it's going to be a few days before I'm feeling back completely normal.  They will remove my catheter tomorrow and he said I have more fluid build back up afterward, but nothing like how it was previously.

I am just so excited to be going home tomorrow. Cabin Fever has set in and I've not been able to get much rest today.  Every time I fell asleep, someone came in to check my vitals, or one of our phones rang!  Brandon and I have both been so blessed by everyone's kind messages, calls, and visits.  We appreciate it.

I'd like to make a blanket apology for any of the typos/grammatical errors in any of the past posts and the future ones due to my lack of rest and medicine intake.  Thank you for reading.  Thank you for supporting me through one of the lower parts of our journey. 

Day 3 at the Hospital

My days feel like they're starting to run together.  I feel like I've been here much longer than three days. 

One of our associate pastors at church (Larry) stopped by to check in on us last night.  I know that God told him to come and visit us when he did.  He talked to us about how difficult our journey through infertility has been.  He asked us questions that no one else has ever asked us before.  He actually asked us about all of the unsolicited advice we receive.  He mentioned how people often don't know what to say, so they say condescending things like "it will happen when it happens," or "it's a part of God's plan." Brandon and I were able to let off some much needed steam talking to him.  Last night was also the first time we let our guards down and and cried about our current situation.  We have both been trying to stay strong for each other.  Last night we both let go.

Brandon and I were both so hopeful for this IVF attempt.  For the most part, everything went as well as could be expected up until time for the embryo transfer.  The past few days have been so difficult for me because many people haven't truly understood how we feel.  So many people actually thought we were just postponing the transfer a few days.  (You CANNOT do that.  Embryos must be transferred at either day 3 or day 5-after that they must be frozen.) So many individuals are clueless about anything relating to infertility.  Also, I don't think that everyone has understood the severity of  my situation.  Yes, I knew all of the risks involved when we started the process of IVF.  I was counselled about OHSS, but did not think it would happen to me.  Everyone thinks that they're invincible.   It usually only affects 10% of women undergoing fertility treatment.  If you saw me in the days leading up to our scheduled transfer, it was written all over my face how much pain I was going through.  I could barely sleep at night.  I couldn't get up out of bed or even walk without someone holding on to me.  This has been the worst pain that I've ever endured, both emotionally and physically.  If you have not ridden the roller coaster of emotions that infertility takes you on, then you will not understand.  We waited and waited and waited to start this cycle.  Now we are back to waiting.  Healing, waiting, and preparing for another cycle. 

Dr. Allemand stopped by this morning to check on me.  I know that everyone is partial to their own doctor, but I am crazy about mine.  It lifted my spirits seeing him (as well as Kayla stopping by). He said that my white blood count and hemoglobin is looking much better.  My calcium is still low, but this is normal with cases of OHSS.  He was still upset about Radiology's neglect in getting my catheter placed in a timely manner.  He assured me that we would be able to go home before the weekend.  He's reduced my IV fluids, but I'm still pretty dehydrated.  All of my fluid intake had been going straight to my stomach. My catheter bag has slowed, but is still draining. My belly is still swollen, but is nothing like it was before.  Now it looks like it did when I was stimming.  In retrospect, I should have taken a picture of my stomach each day.  The thought never occurred to me because I felt so terrible.  I'm hoping that they will weigh me later on today.  I have also started Lovenox injections to prevent blood clots.  I'm no longer wearing the pressure cuffs on my legs, but I'm apparently still at risk for developing clots. 

I will continue to glorify God no matter the circumstance.  Things could have been much worse than they truly are.  I can do all things with Him.  Without God, we would have never gotten as far as we did in the IVF process.  He provided in every aspect of the situation.  He is my source of strength.  When I am weak He is strong.  He is the only reason that I am able to make myself get up out of this hospital bed and try to feel better.

Pigtail Catheter- OHSS

They put a pigtail catheter into my right side early this afternoon.  They only gave me a local anesthetic before jabbing the tube inside me.  It was anything but pleasant.  They've emptied the bag attached six times already.  It's crazy how much fluid was in my belly.  My tummy is still tender to touch, but it's not as swollen as it was previously.  I'm hoping that I'll be able to go home on Thursday.

I've been sneaking naps in whenever possible.  Brandon's got his iPad and laptop with him, so he's been able to work today.  Dad hung around for the majority of the day, and Liz stopped by with two different soups for me from Panera.  It's amazing how I could be so tired from doing nothing.  I can't believe that I made it five days at home before being admitted to the hospital.  I was in so much pain.  It still hurts when I get up to go to the bathroom.  Now I have to hold onto my belly drip bag each time I get up!  I'm not sure when I'll feel like my old self again.

There's been a lot of confusion from people about when we will transfer our embryos (this being from those who don't know much about infertility.)  Because I was admitted to the hospital having all the fluid in my belly, it made an embryo transfer impossible right now.  Our six embryos are now frozen and waiting for us to attempt a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) at a later date.  Dr. Allemand stressed that we only needed one break cycle for my body to heal.  From there, I'm not sure when we'll attempt a FET.  Brandon seems to be leaving it up to me.  To quote him, he said that "he's not the one having to take all of the injections."

It hit me today how upset I am about this cycle ending the way it did.  No, I couldn't have done anything differently to combat OHSS.  Everything else about our IVF cycle was perfect.  I responded well to the stimulation injections and produced many eggs.  We ended up with great embryos as well.  We were both excited and ready to get pregnant.  It just hurts our hearts that we have to wait again.  We've grown especially accustomed to waiting when it comes to getting pregnant.  We do know that God has a plan for us and a special child waiting.  Until it's time for us to begin trying again, I will focus more on Him and His plan.  I know that the next few months are going to be hard for me.  I never anticipated getting this far into our IVF cycle to have to postpone our Embryo Transfer.

3 Days Post Retrieval

I'm trying to feel better today. My tummy is still sore and swolen. OHSS sucks! I feel great as long as I'm stationary. Also, I've never been so hydrated in my entire life! I've been switching up between Gatorade, V8 Splash, and water all morning. The embryologist called us at 7:45 this morning. Our 9 embryos still look great. =) Over half of them are 9-cell and 8-cell today. They will leave them along tomorrow and we'll get another report before the transfer Monday morning. Hearing the news about my precious embryos has made me feel much better. For now, I think I'll be fine for the transfer on Monday. All of this discomfort is simply temporary.