A year ago today

What a difference a year makes.  

At this time one year ago we were on our way to the hospital for a second surgery to resect my uterine septum.  When I found out that I needed another surgery I was devastated to say the least.

When Brandon and I began seeking help from the Reproductive Endocrinologist, we were expecting to have difficulties due to Brandon's past history with testicular cancer.  We were unprepared to learn that I was carrying part of the "infertility burden" as well.  At the first HSG in June 2011, we had no idea what the radiology tech was even talking about when she said septate uterus.

*Looking back, it still amazes me at what all happened for us to be pregnant today.  God never left our side.*

Throughout our infertility journey, I do have to say that Brandon and I continued to remain hopeful that we would be parents.  Instead of waiting to schedule the second surgery, we pressed forward and booked the first available surgery appointment.  I knew that there would be recovery time to give me the "break" that my body and mind needed.  Dr. Allemand knew that I was severely upset that my first surgery with a different RE had not corrected our issues, so he provided me with visual proof that my septum was removed.

This picture is beautiful to me; it's my womb prepped to carry a child.

Today I cannot help but be reminded of what we endured to get here, but I am overfilled with joy that my uterus is now carrying my precious daughter.  I can only hope and pray that Elliana never has difficulty starting her family when the time comes, but I will trust God that He is in control.

Here are two of my older posts from both of my surgery days.  It seems surreal to look back and read my words from those days.
February 3, 2012
September 8, 2011

Second Anniversary of our Fertility Struggle

As of today, we have been trying to conceive for two years.  I love numbers, so here are a few random statistics about our journey thus far:

• 22 cycles to date of trying to conceive a child
• 730 prenatal vitamins consumed by me
• BBT (basal body temperature) taken approximately 700 times
• 50+ injections given at home & work
• 32 pregnancy tests taken at home & work
• 20 opk (ovulation predictor kit) taken at home & work
• 20 vaginal ultrasounds 
• 3 HSGs (dye test)
• 2 surgeries (Hysteroscopy & Laparoscopy)
• 1 SIS (saline infusion sonogram)
• 1 IUI (intrauterine insemination)
• 1 Chemical Pregnancy - 1 Angel Baby - Peyton Lane
• 1 IVF cycle with a severe case of OHSS
• 6 FROZEN EMBRYOS
• Countless tears spilled

I could keep on listing statistics, but that would be boring for y'all to read.  

I am in a completely different place than I was when we first began this journey.  Never did I think that it would take so long for us to conceive a child.  We have been blessed beyond measure in the past two years.    I never thought that I'd be able to look at this day without being devastated.  It's still difficult to be here on this day, but I have hope that God will provide in His timing.  

IVF for Beginners

Many of you reading actually know me (and Brandon) in real life.  Before undergoing fertility treatments, we both had limited knowledge about ART.  When my SIL, Sheri, went through IF procedures, I found myself searching google constantly to have some type of understanding of what she was going through.  This post is intended to help my friends and family understand IVF.
*How can I ask you to pray for me if you don't know what to pray for?!?*

At this point in our journey, it's obvious that Brandon and I cannot conceive on our own.  A brief rundown of our IF diagnosis:

• Male Factor Infertility- poor morphology, low motility, and low count due to Testicular Cancer and Chemotherapy.  We do not have enough swimmers to even get pregnant via IUI at this point
  
• Uterine Septum- mostly corrected, but my uterus will always have the characteristics of a septate uterus.  It has a tiny curvature at the top that makes it unique.
• Annovulation- I do not ovulate without stimulation drugs (ex: Femara, Clomid, Follistim, Gonal F, Menopur, etc.)  I believe that I've only had 5 or so cycles where I ovulated without stimming drugs in the past 2 years.

We believe that God has led us to this place in our journey.  We have taken many factors into consideration and feel that this is our best option at the current time to have a child (children).  The likelihood of us ever conceiving on our own is miniscule.  We know that nothing is impossible with God.  We know that pursuing IVF is part of His plan.  We will listen to Him each step of the way.

We are pursuing IVF with ICSI to have a child.  

IVF refers to the process, and there are many steps along the way.


IVF with ICSI

In Vitro Fertilization is commonly referred to as IVF. IVF is the process of fertilization by manually combining an egg and sperm in a laboratory dish. When the IVF procedure is successful, the process is combined with a procedure known as embryo transfer, which involves physically placing the embryo in the uterus. American Pregnancy Association

Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) involves the direct injection of sperm into eggs obtained from IVF.  American Pregnancy Association

Here is a brief explanation of how the process of IVF works (in our scenario):

• A new cycle begins
• A baseline u/s and bw appointment is scheduled to check hormones and the uterus and tubes.
• Suppression is started.  In my case, we are beginning with BCP.
• After so many days of BCP, injectable medication is added as well.  
• In my case, I am prescribed Lupron injections for 12 days in addition to taking my BCP.  
• A suppression check is scheduled to ensure that there has been no follicle growth or thickening of the uterine lining.
• Begin stimulation drugs for ovulation induction.  
• In my case, we are taking Follistim and Menopur for at least 10 days.
• Many office visits are scheduled to monitor and observe the follicles (that produce the egg).
• Once the follicles reach the desired measurement, the HCG trigger shot is administered, and the Egg Retrieval is scheduled.  
• On average, 70% of follicles aspirated will provide one egg. 
• There are no guarantees that every follicle will contain an egg, and that every egg will fertilize.
• After the retrieval, the eggs collected are then fertilized with Brandon's sperm
• This is where ICSI is performed.  
• After fertilization takes place, the embryos are closely monitored.  
• The plan is a 5-day transfer.
• When the embryos are five days old, they select the best, which are then transferred via vaginal catheter with ultrasound guidance.
• We are planning on transferring 2 embryos.  
• If we have more good quality embryos remaining, we will freeze them for later use. 
• At this point, I am PUPO!
• I will try and remain as calm and peaceful as possible while we wait.
• Nine days after my ET (14dpo) and (9dp5dt), we will go in for our beta to see if we are pregnant

There is much stress involved in IVF.  I'm praying for peace as we go through this process.  Once we get results, I will update here.  Within my blog, I have created a page outlining our IVF attempt.  If we have great beta numbers, I will want us to tell our families before posting.  If our numbers aren't promising, it will be easier to post here so I don't have as many people to tell.  

For now, I'm praying for God's will in our situation.  Whether IVF gives us a child or not, we will give glory to Him.  God is the ultimate healer and giver of live.  

Please visit my Lingo page for further explanation about any acronyms used in this post. =)  The coming posts will begin to contain more and more as we continue to move forward.

Happy!

This morning I decided to call the nursing line and ask about my HSG results.  Melissa (nurse) is so great!  I think I talk to her at least once a week.  She said that Dr. Allemand agreed that my uterine septum was resected enough to move forward with IVF.  No more surgery!! Yay!

 

HSG results

I apologize for not posting yesterday.  Once I got home, I cooked dinner for Rachel and Clint.  Rachel spent the night with me since B is still out of town.  I slept so well last night just knowing I wasn't alone in the house! =)

Dr. Houserman performed my HSG.  It hurt!  They had prescribed a Valium for me to take prior to the procedure.  I took it too soon at my last appointment, so I took it later this time.  (It never kicked in until AFTER the appointment).  I dissolved an Ativan under my tongue and it helped relax me a little.  I'm a weenie when it comes to having all of these tests.  My severe pelvic pain makes most of the procedures almost unbearable.  Thankfully it was over quickly and I only cried for about three minutes.  It was evident from the x-ray that the septum is still there.  =(  Dr. Houserman said that she thought it was alright to move forward with IVF.  I wish that the septum had been completely removed!  I will not let myself get upset or hopeful until I talk to Dr. Allemand.  He should be back in the office next week so I will leave message to see what he says about the results.

3rd HSG Tomorrow

For those of you who have been following my story, you know that my uterus has caused us many issues with TTC.  Tomorrow I will have my third and hopefully final HSG!

A uterine septum is a congenital (birth) defect where the uterus is not shaped correctly.  On my first HSG in June, it appeared that I had two divided cavities.  Dr. Bates resected much of the septum in September, but there was still an evident divide in January when Dr. Allemand looked at my second HSG results.  After my surgery was complete in February, Dr. Allemand gave me before and after pictures of my uterus, tubes, and ovaries.

At the top you can see the septum before and after resection.

Endometriosis

Open tubes and more Endo

Adhesions of Endo on my Uterus

Opening of both tubes and my Septum

There was no way to know that I had a uterine septum until I had began seeing a RE.  There are no signs or symptoms, other than not getting pregnant or having recurrent miscarriages.  My chemical pregnancy in November could have due in part to the residual septum.  Making sure that my womb is shaped correctly is extremely important for us to get pregnant and carry a baby to term.  Many women still get pregnant with the uterine septum present, but babies are often breeched and have little room inside.  Also, it makes implantation more difficult, because there is no blood flow to the septum.

Having seen the images of my womb, I feel confident about tomorrow's HSG.  At our appointment last week, Dr. Allemand said that a slight contour in the cavity would be alright.  My tubes have been checked out four times already (previous HSGs and with each surgery) so I feel that I can only expect good news tomorrow.

Please keep me in your prayers tomorrow.  My Dad is taking me (he also took me to my last HSG).  I'm hoping for better results for the both of us.  I don't think Dad could stand to see me upset again.  Also, Brandon is out of town for work and I want to have something good to share with him tomorrow evening!

Great Surgery

The surgery went extremely well!  I don't think they took me back until 11am or so, but our pastor, Liz, and Katherine all stopped by before hand and that kept us occupied.  =)  Also, I got to meet Kayla yesterday, which was great!  We've only been talking since November!! haha

Dr. Allemand spoke with us before the surgery to again describe what we were doing.  During the surgery, he took before and after pictures and let me have them!  The septum was completely resected.  When he looked at my right tube, everything looked great.  The septum had hindered his view of the right tube during the HSG.  He did upgrade my diagnosis of Endometriosis to Stage II, and removed some adhesions. 

My MIL, Peggy, drove from North Carolina yesterday and was at the hospital once I came out of recovery.  It was nice to have some extra help around the house.  Eleanna brought us dinner last night, so no one had to cook.  I haven't had much of an appetite; I'm just extremely thirsty!!  It was almost 5pm when we got home, so I never napped.  I fell asleep somewhere around 10pm or so and felt like I woke up on and off all night.  I had to get up to pee a lot, but that was expected with them putting me to sleep along with having a catheter.

Overall I would call the surgery a success!  I'm on the road to recovery, and am looking forward to what the future holds for us!  I will post my surgery before and after pictures soon!!

Surgery

My surgery is scheduled for 9am tomorrow.  (That's central time here in Alabama).  We have to arrive at 7am so I can finish up any paperwork, give them more money, and get me admitted. 

I understand that not all of my readers are Christian.  If you are, please pray for the doctors and myself.  If you don't pray, please think of me and send me your positive vibes.  =)  I am praying for the surgeons, nurses, and everyone that will be present during my procedure tomorrow.  I pray that God is with me and them in the operating room. I pray that they safely remove the septum, any leftover endometriosis, and correct whatever is wrong with my right tube/ovary. Thank you!

Here's to writing my last post with my busted plumbing!! =)

One more day

Tomorrow is the big day.  This week has seemed to drag by.  We went to church last night and a few of the ladies prayed over me.  They anointed my head with oil and each prayed for peace and healing.  Once they laid their hands on me I felt God's hands.  I was able to lay down and go to sleep last night without feeling sick.  I know that tomorrow will be a new day full of emotions, but He will be with me. I will post once the hospital calls with the scheduled surgery time.

Stress

Yesterday was blah.  My head was pounding half of the day and I felt like I was in a fog.  My chest started hurting and I felt like I did when they told me I needed another surgery.  I wasn't even thinking about the week or anything.  The pain just came on out of nowhere. 

We kept Hayden for Liz last night.  He's the perfect baby!  He was so quiet!!  He ate his dinner and played with all of our superhero toys.  He pulled up on everything and even acted like he was going to walk.  It was nice to get to play with him and get some snuggle time in.

Hayden reminded me of why we're doing all of this. =) Sometimes having a baby seems so far away.  There is always some obstacle in the way; surgery, recovery, sperm, medicines, etc.  We have been trying for about 1.5 years now.  I cannot believe we've made it this far.  I cannot believe we're still getting along (haha)!  This whole process has been extremely stressful for us, but we've done the best we can.  Infertility does NOT come with a handbook. =)

This Week!

Thursday is Brandon's last day with his job.  He's been a Property Manager for well over 10 years.  I am so proud of him, and cannot wait for him to start his new job with HD Supply next week. 

The weekend was great!  After work on Saturday, I went to Rachel's Pageant at PHS.  It's been 8 years since I graduated high school, and I had some emotions walking through those doors again!  Rachel made Top 25 and I had a fun time looking at all the pretty dresses.  =)  Yesterday we got up and went to church, ate breakfast, and took a nap.  I think I slept for about 3 hours, and I needed it.  I was starting to feel like I was getting sick.  Once we were both up, we started preparing our taxes and cleaning.  You don't even want to know about our taxes!  Even though we spent so much on fertility issues, we somehow OWE this year.  I am irate!!  BUT we vacuumed the floors, B cleaned both bathrooms, I did laundry, and we actually put away some of the laundry! ;-) 

Brandon's Mom is coming to town on Friday, so I wanted the house to be clean.  Also, there's no way I was going to sit around after surgery looking at a dirty house.  Hopefully this week will run smoothly.  I have too much to do this week!!

Another great day

This week has been great for me.  =)  I just thought I would let you know!!

I am already having cramping, and my temperature dropped this morning.  I can feel AF on her way!  It is super strange to be excited about that, but it means that I am moving forward.  I have not had a chance to be nervous about my scheduling appointment tomorrow.  I am afraid that Brandon will not be able to go.  I hate going to appointments without him, but he may have to be at work.  He put in his 2 weeks notice and does not need to "take off" during his last week there.  On the other hand, I need him there with me asking questions.  I am praying that it works out that he can leave and be at the appointment with me.  =)

You Think I Would Be Used to Bad News by Now

Today was a bad day.  Warning:  This is not going to be one of my "finding the silver lining" posts. 

I took a Valium before the HSG, and it helped keep me calm during the procedure.  As Dr. Allemand was pushing the dye, he noticed that it was not flowing from my right ovary.  Once he was finished, he helped me sit up and showed me the x-ray.  It was apparent that I still have a septum in my uterus, as well as a blockage on my right fallopian tube.  I visibly saw my heart shaped uterus on the film. I will need to have another surgery to resect the septum and address my fallopian tube.

They called in a prescription for Prometrium, and I will start those pills tonight.  I should take it for 10 days and start a new cycle shortly thereafter.  My follow-up appoint with Dr. Allemand is scheduled for next Thursday at 9:30am.  Then, we will talk about details concerning another surgery.  We discussed briefly that he will perform a Laparoscopy and Hysteroscopy.  He said that he needed to perform the Laparoscopy so that he could visibly see what is wrong with my ovary.  The Hysteroscopy is an obvious choice to correct the septum.

Right now I am upset, sad, angry, and just utterly devastated that I still have this uterine abnormality.  I thought that Dr. Bates at UAB had corrected this problem, but obviously he DID NOT.

My plan is to have the surgery sometime next month so I can have some time to heal and recover before pursuing IVF.  Please be thinking about Brandon and myself in the next few days.  We are both equally upset and feel defeated and let down.

8 days and counting

Today's my nephew's birthday.  He's 2 years old.  It seems like yesterday he was a little baby and now he's growing up so fast.  I hope that Brandon and I will be able to give him a cousin soon. =) 

This morning, I ran across a few fertility websites, but was most impressed with Conceive.  Everything within the site is explained well.  There was even an article listed that discusses my medical issue-septate uterus.
Here's a link to the article:  Uncommon Uterus. Before my diagnosis, I had never even heard of a septate uterus.  Now, I find information about it on most all fertility websites.  Go figure.

Only 8 more days....  =)

Anniversary and Waiting til Wednesday

Today is our 2nd Wedding Anniversary and we've been together for 4 years.  =) We spent Friday, Saturday, and part of Sunday at B's parent's lake house.

We had a nice time and got to relax in the sun.  I would have LOVED to go to the beach, but it just wasn't feasible with our added expenses of fertility stuff. 

My HSG last Wednesday wasn't as bad as I thought.  It was not comfortable at all, but the DRs and nurses were GREAT with me.  My tubes were all clear, BUT my uterus didn't look right. =(  At the time they were not sure if it was a bicornuate uterus, OR if there was a septum there.  After the ultrasound today, they think that it's a septum--see picture on the left. 


So,  it looks like I'll not be having the IUI this cycle.  I see Dr. Bates on Wednesday.  We'll possibly do another ultrasound if he wants to look himself, although the lady today was positive that it was a septum.  They'll do a laparoscopy to remove the septum, and recovery time is supposed to be quick.  =)  

I'm a little discouraged that I won't be pregnant this  month, but I'd rather get pregnant and have a healthy baby. The risks associated with the bicornuate were scary and I could NOT imagine getting pregnant and losing my child.

Now I just have to make it to Wednesday to figure out our game plan. =)