One Month Away and Thank You

We are one month away, or 30 days out from our estimated due date.  My mind can barely comprehend how quickly this pregnancy has flown by.  And when you're talking about a pregnancy achieved by Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART), you're talking about ONE. LONG. PREGNANCY!

Our In Vitro Journey began on May 5 last year when my new cycle started.  From there I took BCP, added Lupron Injections, began another cycle, added stimulation drugs (Follistim and Menopur) and made it to our Egg Retrieval date on June 20.  When we arrived at the clinic on June 25 for our tentative transfer, it was evident that I had severe Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS) and needed to be admitted to drain the excess fluid from my abdomen.  Talk about disappointment, but I was in so much pain that I never cried over our cancelled embryo transfer.  I laid in a hospital bed for five days and looked to God for the answers.  He had never stopped seeking me and I finally allowed myself to rely on Him instead of taking the situation into my own hands.

We let my body heal over a rest cycle and began our first Frozen Embryo Transfer on August 12.  If you're keeping track of your pregnancy from your last menstrual period (LMP), our pregnancy with Elliana started on August 12.  That makes this one super duper long pregnancy!  We failed our first lining check, but took one extra week to  thicken the lining of my uterus and were able transfer two beautiful embryos on September 6, 2012.

On September 10, 2012 I took a HPT and it was positive.  All blood tests confirmed pregnancy and here we are today one month away from the estimated arrival of our daughter.

God answered our prayers to have a child and Brandon and I will forever be thankful.

We would not have endured our journey without some very special people in our lives.  God sent us some special people at different times throughout our journey to help us along the way.

• Sheri, my amazing sister-in-law.  She too endured her own battle with infertility and provided me with support from the first day that I threw out my birth control.  She told me everything that she knew and always helped me find answers when she didn't happen.  I called her first from leaving all of my appointments.  I couldn't have gotten through all of this without her.  She stood by my side through our infertility and pregnancy, and she will stand by my side as I deliver Elliana.
• Dad.  There's not enough space here to tell all that he did for Brandon and me.  I will be writing about my father's love and support in another blog post before Elliana arrives.  What he did for us must be shared.
• Joy, my daughter's (middle) namesake.  She covered us in prayer from the moment she met us.  She allowed me to love on her own miracle child when times were hard.  She went to appointments when Brandon could not and even accompanied both us us when we needed another set of ears to hear.  She showed up to the hospital with goodies when I was admitted.  During our embryo transfer she held Brandon's hand and prayed over me during the procedure.  She was always a positive voice to me and just knew that the transfer would work and give us a child.
• Tonisha, my long-distance friend from Oklahoma. Her love for us has been written in the blog more than once.  She donated much needed medication to us and sewed Elliana's first baby quilt.  She showed me God's love and how He can use anyone to catch your attention.  She and I share different views about religion, but she showed me what it is to love your neighbor better than anyone else could.
• Liz, my college friend turned best friend.  We never seemed to lose touch like most people do when they graduate.  She too had her fair share of trouble when it came to getting pregnant, and was always there to lend a supportive ear.  There were many dinner and drinks nights when we had received unsettling news.  She was here with dinner when I had surgeries and even showed up to the hospital with a baby to just sit with me once before they wheeled me back.  She brought me good food in the hospital, presents when we confirmed our pregnancy, pretty pink cupcakes to celebrate Elliana's gender, and is hosting my baby shower.  She's such the perfect Southern woman and I'm trying to take some tips from her.  She's not your traditional Proverbs 31 woman, but she's pretty dang close in her own way. 
• Jennifer, my former coworker and friend.  God bless her heart, she had to hear me cry and complain so much through our infertility and pregnancy,  BUT she never got upset by it and let me vent.  She always reminded me to find the positive and "silver lining" in every situation.  She researched stones for fertile properties and gave me a rose quartz to wear.  She somehow survived all of my crazy hormonal days and hot flashes and still likes me.  There's a special place in Heaven for her.
• Paul, my former boss.  Not many men understand the desire of a woman to have a child, but he did.  He knew upon hiring me that my greatest desire was to start a family.  He knew more about my follicles, endometrial lining, and hot flashes than any man other than my husband and fertility doctor ever wanted to know.  He always told me that my family came first and supported our journey.  Asking for time off for fertility procedures was never a problem, and I can remember him calling to check on me before surgeries and while I was in the hospital.  I was lucky to work in a loving environment that supported me.
• Tiffany.  My pregnancy would have felt different without her.  After we announced that we were expecting, so many other women in the church also said that they too were pregnant all around our due date.  Tiffany told me in person after her first test.  I think she knew that it would be easier for me to hear it from her.  Our due dates are two days apart and she has given me so much support.  Because it took us so much to achieve our pregnancy,  I still found myself jealous of other women who were expecting, but never her.  I completely ignored other pregnant women except for her.  I just know that our daughters are going to be best friends.
• Rachel, my former coworker and surrogate daughter.  How many 17 year old girls know how to administer fertility drugs?  I didn't keep up with how many injections Rach gave me, but it was a LOT.  She was nervous on the first few but then it just came as second nature.  She attended "mom functions" with me at church, gave me a mother's day gift, and spent the night with me when Brandon traveled.  She's well beyond her years already and has such a big heart for such a young girl.
• Nicole, a lost connection from college.  In her own infertility journey, Nicole found me and we started talking.  It's always nice to be able to talk to someone in person who is also battling infertility.  I'm so happy that she's 10 weeks behind me in her pregnancy with their son, Isaac.  
• Our family.  They were all so excited when we called saying that we were pregnant and even more excited when we found out her gender.  Elliana is the FIRST granddaughter (and great-granddaughter) on Brandon's side of the family and the FIRST grandchild (and great-grandchild) on my side.  
• Our faith family.  Calera First United Methodist Church has never stopped covering us in prayer. Terry and Carolyn prayed over us many times and annointed us with oil.  Terry made hospital appearances when I wasn't even sure he knew I was there!  I'm not sure how many women saw my hiney when I'd search people to help with progesterone injections, but they were all there to hold my hand and laugh at the joys of our pregnancy.  The previous church we attended never provided us with much support so I was astonished at the outpouring of love we received when we opened up about our infertility.  Elliana will have the biggest family because of the faith family that God gave us.

There are so many other people who influenced us along this journey.  It would take days for me to write about all of them.  Again, I am finding myself full of sentiment these days and I want it all recorded before I forget these feelings.  I'm looking to this blog post as the thank you card that can never fade away.

Trying to Conceive and Thoughts for Elliana

It's easy to reflect on our past journey now that Elliana is almost here.  Part of me knew that we would get pregnant, but I had no idea how long it would take.  Sometimes I feel guilty that we responded so well with IVF and that our first FET was successful.  There are so many other women who are still trying to get pregnant after multiple IVF attempts.

Why did it work for us so quickly?  

I began writing on this blog in 2010.  After about five posts or so it became a blog about us trying to get pregnant.  Most of the writing was me hopeless month after month of seeing negative HPTs.  I had no readers and didn't really share my blog with people that I knew in real life.  The address was listed under my information on Facebook, but I wasn't sure that anyone even noticed it.  Through Fertility Friend and other online communities my readership grew and now I'm nearing 100,000 page views.  Who knew that anyone was reading my words from a small town in Alabama.

Now I look at this blog as a gift to Elliana.  My prayer is that she never encounters difficulty when she's ready to start her family.  But I also want her to know that her life was planned and we desperately hoped and prayed for her.  All life is a gift, but I cannot help but know that her life will be full of meaning.  God must have good things in store for her.  I hope that our story continues through her and does not end with her birth.  Elliana will be told from an early age what it took to conceive her.  Who knows if we will ever have another child.  I try to think about having more children, but my mind cannot even comprehend going through more treatment even though we still have four frozen embryos waiting.  

Pregnancy has been no cake walk for me, but it hasn't been unbearable either.  I've never believed women who said they enjoyed every second of their pregnancy anyways.  I'm completely miserable these days, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.  This hidden basketball of a belly under my shirt is what I longed for in the early days of this blog.  

In this last month of pregnancy I am finding myself sentimental and full of thoughts that I want to capture in prose before they escape me.  

--------------------

Elliana,

You are my Joy.  

I will never be a perfect parent, but I will be the perfect mother for you.  God chose to give you to us, and I promise to always protect you.  I vow to love God first, love your Daddy second, and then love you.  I will not make you an idol that I worship, but love you more than you will ever understand until you have children of your own.

Mom.

Tough Decisions

When dealing with infertility, some issues never truly go away. Brandon and I are pregnant and we are still faced with difficult decisions...

When I began writing about our fertility journey, I knew that I wanted to share EVERYTHING.  It's not often that you find a blogger as candid as myself who discloses their identity.  I hope that in the bearing of my soul on this space, someone else will find answers, comfort, and information to help them along their own pathway to parenthood.

Last week we received a letter in the mail from ART regarding our frozen sperm (11 vials).  The likelihood of us using them is slim to none.  Yes, we attempted one IUI in October 2011, but it did not end well for us.  Both the doctors at UAB and ART agreed that IVF is the best way for us to conceive.  In an IUI attempt, we would need to use both fresh and frozen samples (from Brandon) combined to get an adequate amount of swimmers for success.  All the while having four frozen embryos, neither of us want to go down the IUI road again.

Brandon and I had to think hard about this situation.  Obviously there is a cost to keep them preserved.  The cost for keeping our little swimmers on ice is $600 per year.  We also have to pay the same fee for our little frozen embies.  It's only money, but it felt like a wasted expense when we will most likely never need the frozen sperm.  In the likelihood that our attempts at another pregnancy fail with the remaining four embryos (through FET)... I can't even imagine.  The thought of another pregnancy and child is not so far out of our minds at the moment.  BUT we will cross that bridge when we get there.  In the event that two FETs fail, Brandon and I would then have to decide if we wanted to attempt IVF again.  In the event of pursuing the process again starting with IVF, I am positive that we would be able to retrieve enough sperm for ICSI.  That was truly the only worry that Brandon and I had.

Being pregnant with Elliana now and having to make these decisions brought up so many feelings that I've not experienced in quite some time.  Whether Brandon and I attempt to become pregnant again seems selfish at the moment.  I am forever thankful to God for the gift of Elliana.  At the moment I cannot wrap my head around the idea of fertility treatment again with a child.  I know that's because I don't need to worry about that yet.  Brandon and I will both know when it's time to get back on the infertility roller coaster again.

I delivered the paperwork to destroy and discard our frozen sperm on Friday while I was at Brookwood.  I highly doubt that anyone would benefit from using our little frozen guys or Brandon and I would have discussed donation.

Thank you for staying with me through this post.  I know that I've not talked as much about my fears and anxiety through this pregnancy because I haven't had any.  I'm not like most of the women who still have apprehension through their pregnancy after overcoming infertility.  I lost that feeling weeks ago and I pray that my other infertility sisters can feel the same peace.  BUT having to watch Brandon sign the paperwork and then deliver it brought me back to that dark place.

Recap of Transfer Day

Waiting to sign in

Joy, LaShawn (Joy's Mom), and Nesia (Joy's baby-cutest baby ever) went with us today.  Joy has already been to two of my other appointments at ART.  She went previously when Brandon was out of town, and went with us when we found out that we were going to be able to move forward with our FET.  There was no doubt in my mind that I needed her there on our transfer day!

Me in my flattering robe

That room gets cold so I brought my fuzzy socks
Plus, they're pink & blue!

I can't remember what he was saying here

They were hilarious getting all gowned up

Getting Joy all situated

They gave him the hair nets for his shoes

These two kept me laughing while waiting to be taken into the procedure room!

He's ready for surgery-haha!

Surprisingly enough, I never got too nervous this morning.  On the way to ART, I started feeling nauseated.  We stopped at McDonalds for a happy meal and then I was pretty good.  Brooke gave me a Valium once I got dressed in my gown and I just laid in my little hospital bed.

Sneakers, me, and the cute little bear ART gave me

I think it's awesome that they give you a little teddy bear to commemorate the occasion.  It's little shirt reads "A snuggly bear because we care! ART Fertility Program of Alabama!"

Joy and me before being taken to the transfer room

We went into the transfer room, and wow-it was great to be in there and not be as nervous as the last time.  I could remember shaking uncontrollably because I was so nervous about the egg retrieval process.  Brooke still vividly remembered me from my tentative transfer day/hospitalization day back in June.  She was excited to see me back to myself again.

Joy prayed for us before everything got started.  Brooke even joined us.  It was such a beautiful time.  My feet couldn't stop dancing because I was so excited!

I look terrified! Really, I just had to potty because my bladder had to be full for the transfer

Nervous-Excitement waiting on Dr. Allemand

There's never a dull moment with Sneakers

We had to sign so much paperwork today!  They kept laughing, wanting to make sure I had it all signed before the Valium kicked in!

Once Dr. Allemand arrived, he gave us some awesome news.  When they thawed our embryos, they were looking for 50% or greater expansion.... One of mine expanded 100% and the other 80%.  In Brandon's words, that was like using one fresh embryo! Also, they only had to thaw the two, so we still have 4 remaining frozen embryos for later use.  Once he told us this, Brandon said he felt immediate relief!  For once, I wasn't worried.  I was a picture of perfect peace today (except when I had to go to the potty!). 

I wish I could say that the transfer process itself was a piece of cake, but when you have extreme pelvic pain issues, no pelvic exam, etc. is ever easy.  Dr. Allemand made sure to talk me through the entire process. When someone says they're going to swab your cervix, it's not exactly comfortable!  Thankfully I had Brandon holding my hand and Joy's hand on my head.  Everyone kept talking to me to keep me from panicking.  Of course I broke out in a hot flash, but I tend to do that during procedures.  Luckily, the actual process of transferring the two embryos didn't take near as long and the preparation.  They gave me three different pictures of my belly throughout the process! I would post them, but they're difficult to "read" if you don't know what you're looking for.

Resting after the transfer
Anxiously waiting to be allowed to go to the potty!

Nesia gave us lots of "baby dust" today

Afterward with my bear
LaShawn said I looked different already =)

Today was surreal.  I cannot believe that we transferred two amazing embryos today!  For now I guess I'll refer to them as Sneakers & Sneakette.  I mean, we did have to sign paperwork saying that we knew the likelihood of twins was high! ;-)

I'm keeping up with everything relating to this cycle on my FET page!

Today's the Day

This is it!

I didn't think I would be able to go to sleep last night.  Brandon has slept on the couch the past two nights because his sinuses have been bothering him.  It was his decision, not mine-promise!  He's been terrified of me getting sick these past few days.  I did wake up an hour early this morning because I was so excited.  I'm sure I'll pay for that later today.

At church last night several people stayed around after bible study to pray over us.  Terry (our pastor) anointed our heads with oil as everyone gathered around, laying hands on us.  Surprisingly enough, I didn't cry, but felt peace.  That is something that I know many women are lacking on the eve of their transfers.  At this moment, I truly believe that this endeavor will provide us with a healthy pregnancy.  There's no room for any other negative thought.

If for some reason this transfer doesn't end with a pregnancy and take-home baby, I know that I will be upset.  Anyone would.  But I feel like God has given me a glimpse of the big picture.  I know that I am lucky to have found my purpose-my calling.  I wouldn't wish infertility on anyone, but it has brought me so much closer to God and my husband.  Also, I wouldn't be connecting with women throughout the world if I didn't have these struggles.  The Infertility, Pregnancy & Infant Loss, and Adoption community is an amazing network of women.  These ladies build each other up with support and love.  This day would be so much harder to face without them-knowing that they are cheering for me.

My emotions are all over the place.  For those of you who know me IRL, I saw that same Jiff commercial this morning and left the room (I was moved to tears last week)!  No tears earlier, but now I'm all weepy.  I have the good cries.  I have no idea why I even wore eye makeup because I'll have cried it all off by the end of the day.

Thank you for all of the support.  My phone has been going off like crazy all morning.  =)  Y'all are amazing and we couldn't do this without YOU!

One more day

"The moment I called out, you stepped in; you made my life large with strength." 

Psalm 138:3 (The Message)

It took some time for Brandon and I to trust God and His timing.  We both still struggle daily, but we know that God's plan for us will unfold, and we will be blessed beyond measure.  Through all of the difficult times, it's been so hard to find joy in the journey.

We both feel so close to the finish line.  The day before transfer in our IVF cycle was terrible.  I had never felt so sick in my life.  Today I am excited and hopeful about tomorrow and the days after that.

We will see the first picture of our children tomorrow.  There are no words to describe how awesome that is!

Two more days

Wow.  Time is moving by so quickly.  I cannot believe that our embryo transfer is in only two days.

My hiney hurts!  In medicated cycles, women need progesterone support.  Dr. Allemand has me on shots, which are intramuscular (hiney).  The progesterone-in-oil injection doesn't hurt as much when it's administered, rather it's the aftermath.  On Saturday and Sunday, Brandon gave me 1cc.  Last night we had to increase my dosage to 2cc.  This medicine is SUPER thick!  B gives me a hiney massage afterward to make sure the medicine moves around and doesn't collect in one spot.  My booty is sore when I'm walking, and I feel the pressure from my pants!  It's not terrible, but I can definitely tell that I'll have what others before me have described as the "lumpy butt."  

Also, thanks to the progesterone-in-oil injections, my chest is super sensitive!  It's not that bad, I'll take a little pain any day to get my body ready for my baby(ies).  ;-)

We are so close.  I have nothing but positive thoughts about this cycle.  Brandon and I are planning to go out for a celebratory lunch after our transfer on Thursday.  Also, we've been discussing ideas about how we're going to tell everyone after we get our good news!  We are only expecting good news.  

Thank you for all of the kind thoughts, well wishes, prayers, and support.  We're going to need it to get through this two-week-wait!

"You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."  John 14:14

Great Appointment

Our appointment went well this morning.  My lining measured .08cm- exactly what the doctor ordered ! They took a culture of my lining (which was blue), and I expect everything to be fine there.  It was so funny....the NP casually said, "Oh, I see you're on Estrace."

They usually leave word on my patient voicemail by 2pm.  Then they will provide me with my updated calendar- which is the same as before only a week behind.  I will start antibiotics tomorrow, along with Progesterone-in-Oil injections!  Our Embryo Transfer should happen on Thursday!  I am hopeful that we will get beta results the following Friday (September 14).

This is the closest we've ever been! We are beyond excited!!!  Thank you for all of the text messages!!

Anxious for tomorrow

Tomorrow's the big day... We'll find out if we're moving forward with this cycle.  I feel prepared for any scenario.  Of course, I hope that everything will look great and we'll schedule our embryo transfer for next Thursday!

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  We know that God has perfect timing, but we would appreciate prayers for calmed nerves and peace.

Much to process

Thank you to everyone who has checked on me the past few days.  The infertility process is unpredictable.

The transfer should happen next week as long as my lining thickens.  Brandon is much better at keeping positive that I am.  With each step, I've tried to remain positive.  Writing here has kept me accountable and made me want to see the good in each situation.  It helps me to think ahead and be prepared for all scenarios.  I had already prepared for disappointment at Friday's appointment.  We're still moving forward, it's just a week later than planned. . .

If you're unfamiliar with infertility treatment... Tracking your BBT becomes obsessive.  Taking Clomid/Femara is exciting when you seldom ovulate.  Injecting stimulation drugs is even cooler to get more follicles.  Administering an HPT trigger is just awesome because you get to see two lines on a pregnancy test!  IVF is both terrifying and thrilling all at the same time.  But when you get your calendar and start feeling comfortable and "in control" of your own body...and then something goes wrong...I cannot even begin to explain the disappointment.

We have been living our life in cycles since June 2010.  We have not planned a true vacation in over two years.  Most every aspect of our life has been planned by my fertility calendar.  Over the past two years I have experienced so many different emotions.  I feel like I have been able to handle myself much better over the past six months.

I don't want to seem like I'm throwing myself a pity party, but the waiting is so difficult.  Waiting for God's timing is hard no matter what circumstance you find yourself in.  My prayer is that I can continue to see the silver lining, trust God, lean on my husband, and be a light for others.  My heart is full and I have estrogen coming out of my ears.  I've never felt so weepy.  So yes, we're moving forward, but what others see as one week - I see as five more days of anxiously waiting for possibly more waiting.

My Tentative Calendar at the moment is as follows:
Friday, August 31- Lining Check @ 9am
Saturday, September 1- Tentatively begin PIO injections along with antibiotics
Thursday, September 6- Tentative Embryo Transfer
September 14-September 17--Tentative Beta Results

Last update for the day...

I apologize for my three posts( appointment and moving forward ) today.  This will be my last update for the day, promise!

Janet left a message on my patient voicemail.  My progesterone was .3 which is good and low (exactly what they want).  They took multiple measurements of my endometrium (uterine lining) this morning, and are counting the higher of measurements at .7cm.  This is better than .58cm, but still thinner than they want for an embryo transfer.

For now, they are adding to my medicine protocol.  I will continue to take Estrace 2mg twice daily, but also begin taking the same medicine twice daily vaginally.  My next appointment is scheduled for August 31 for another lining check.  My endometrium should be nice and thick by this time.  If all looks good next Friday, my Embryo Transfer will be scheduled for Thursday, September 6.

Thank you for all of the kind words.  Today's been a rough day, but we're lucky to be surrounded by so many people who love us.

FET protocol

Appointment

My appointment didn't go as well as expected.  My uterine lining was only 0.58cm and they like it to be closer to 0.80cm for transfer.  Dr. Allemand is in surgery each Friday morning, so he will review my chart and plan accordingly.  I should hear back from ART sometime this afternoon.  There's still time to change my medicine/protocol and continue to move forward... It's the "not knowing" that is difficult.  Thankfully there's been a lot to do at work to keep me busy until they call.

Thankfully I did not have an "unglued" moment.  I did cry and get upset, but this isn't the end.  My calendar is just going to change.  God still has this.  I still trust Him.  And His timing is always better than mine.

Really?!?...

Yesterday was fabulous.  I had a great day off at home.

Today is another story... I started having UTI symptoms.  Why now?  I left a message at ART and Janet called back.  Dr. Allemand went ahead and prescribed Macrobid.  They will do urinalysis on Friday if my symptoms are still hanging around.  I took Tylenol earlier for a headache.  Unfortunately, there's nothing else I can take for the pain.  I only drink one 12 ounce Dr.Pepper each day.  I have coffee maybe once a month now.  My caffeine intake has never been more under control!

Oh well.  Wednesday night services start back at church this evening.  At least I have something fun to look forward to this evening.

And I apologize if you're visiting from ICLW... I'm currently in the middle of my first FET cycle after IVF#1 with OHSS.

Calendar

Here It Is:

It was great to come home and see my protocol.  So for now, the plan is to transfer TWO of our frozen embryos on August 30.

Thank you for all of the support. Brandon and I are beyond excited with this cycle so far and have high hopes!  We could not do this without all of the love and prayers we've received from everyone.  Now, more than ever, I'm glad that we chose to share our journey.  There's no way that we could go through this without our friends and faith family.

FET

FET Calendar Arrival

Brandon texted me earlier letting me know that my FET calendar arrived in the mail.  Our Embryo Transfer is scheduled for August 30.  They did not have my beta date listed, but all of you chart stalker-experts will be able to figure that out quickly.

Only 13 more days and I'll be pregnant until proven otherwise."

Last Night's Injection

We chose to move forward and do the Progesterone in Oil injection last night.

It filled the entire syringe

I know a few of you thought it would be sweet for us to transfer on Brandon's birthday, but we didn't see it that way.  My past two birthdays, as well as our past two wedding anniversaries (along with many other events)  have been consumed with fertility treatment.  I had surgery the week after his birthday last year.  

We chose this path, but it is exhausting and often rules our lives.  I don't want it to seem like I'm complaining, because I'm not.  Just the thought a fertility event taking away my husband's birthday made me sad.  

God's plan will unhold as He sees fit.  

Again?!?
My husband is hilarious! 
 The Batman gave me an injection last night!! 
(Let the hot flashes and cramps begin!!!!!!!)

Today's Appointment

This morning's appointment was pretty uneventful.  They did blood work and an ultrasound.  Laura went with me and I'm glad she was there.  She held my hand during the ultrasound part which typically causes me some pain.  On the ultrasound they saw a corpus luteum cyst which indicated ovulation (this is good).  They've already left word on my patient voicemail with my lab results:

• estradiol 42.9
• p4 10.9

The nurse gave me two options:  

A)  wait for AF to arrive on her own

B)  administer 3cc Progesterone-in-Oil Injection to ensure AF arrives on time.

At this point, I haven't talked to Brandon, but if I wait for AF (with no medicine) it will have our FET occurring on his birthday/ first day of football season.  

On a lighter note... here are a few random pictures from the day.

I love to plan! 

Rachel

Randal

Randal and one of the many collages I have made her

Zombie - Creep

Erratic temperature and lack of ovulation

For the past few days I have NOT known what to write about.  I had written previously that ovulation occurred, but was indeed wrong. Today is CD 28 and Fertility Friend has been unclear of any ovulation.

For those of you who don't obsessively take your temperature each day... my above chart describes that my BBT has been erratic.  It means that I have not ovulated; therefore, my period will not occur unless it is medically stimulated. Blah!  I've also had some pain (crampy) in my left side.  I called ART yesterday and talked with one of my favorite nurses.  She has me scheduled to come in tomorrow for bloodwork (and beta) along with an injection of Progesterone-in-oil.  Once I mentioned the bouts of pain in my belly, she suggested an ultrasound as well.
My appointment is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 9am.  Brandon's travelling to Huntsville for the day so I'll be going alone.  Blah!  At least it should be a quick appointment, but it's always difficult entering the building and riding the elevator with all of the pregnant women.

I will update tomorrow after my appointment.  Hoping for an easy in and out appointment tomorrow!!
*UPDATE* Laura is going with me to my appointment tomorrow!!

Ovulation... CHECK!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with BBT charting, the above is my chart for this current break cycle.  Those beautiful red lines indicate that I ovulated on my own with no help from stimulation drugs!  Now, there is a myth/wive's tale that some women retain the follicle stimulating drugs in their system after an IVF cycle.  All that matters to me is that I ovulated on my own, and am now 3 dpo.  

By my usual pattern, I should have about 11 more days until my new cycle begins and we start moving forward with our FET!  I will call ART on DAY 1 of my next cycle and begin taking estrace on CD3.  I'm still unsure about protocol and such with a FET cycle.  It will be a learning process.

• Please continue to pray for our precious frozen embryos.  
• Please pray for Brandon and me that we will continue to move forward hopeful and with a joyful heart.

For a better description of the acronyms used in this post, visit my Lingo page.  I have them all listed on my page, along with a description and link with more useful information when necessary.

Second Anniversary of our Fertility Struggle

As of today, we have been trying to conceive for two years.  I love numbers, so here are a few random statistics about our journey thus far:

• 22 cycles to date of trying to conceive a child
• 730 prenatal vitamins consumed by me
• BBT (basal body temperature) taken approximately 700 times
• 50+ injections given at home & work
• 32 pregnancy tests taken at home & work
• 20 opk (ovulation predictor kit) taken at home & work
• 20 vaginal ultrasounds 
• 3 HSGs (dye test)
• 2 surgeries (Hysteroscopy & Laparoscopy)
• 1 SIS (saline infusion sonogram)
• 1 IUI (intrauterine insemination)
• 1 Chemical Pregnancy - 1 Angel Baby - Peyton Lane
• 1 IVF cycle with a severe case of OHSS
• 6 FROZEN EMBRYOS
• Countless tears spilled

I could keep on listing statistics, but that would be boring for y'all to read.  

I am in a completely different place than I was when we first began this journey.  Never did I think that it would take so long for us to conceive a child.  We have been blessed beyond measure in the past two years.    I never thought that I'd be able to look at this day without being devastated.  It's still difficult to be here on this day, but I have hope that God will provide in His timing.