4 More Days

Is it Monday yet???  (Beta is scheduled for Monday, September 17!)

Believe me, I've had so much going on to keep me busy, but Monday still seems so far away.  Brandon and I have continued to believe in this cycle.

There's no room for negative thoughts on Team Baby Sneakers!  

Brandon has been out of town the past two days and returns today.  I went to an infertility support group Monday night, had praise band practice on Tuesday evening, and had bible study last night.  Tonight will be the first evening that I've been at home all week!  I have never been so thankful for such busy evenings.

*As far as symptoms are concerned...
*I'm having slight cramps whenever I stand for a period of time.
*I'm still tired after a full night's sleep.
*My chest stopped feeling so sensitive (PIO injections) and then began hurting WORSE and "they" are now growing (without me being too graphic)
*Certain foods seem awful!  Things that I would usually enjoy are making me gag.

These all have to be good signs, right?!?   

FET cycle has started

As of today, I am CD 4!  AF arrived Sunday morning.  Again, it is strange to be so excited about such a thing, but it just brings us steps closer to becoming parents.  I called ART Monday morning and they are currently preparing my calendar/protocol and will mail it once they are finished.

I began taking Estrace (Estradiol) 2mg twice daily on Monday.  This is to prepare my uterine lining for the embryo transfer.  Until I get my protocol, I am unsure of when everything will happen.  As of now, I am looking to Sheri (my amazing SIL) for advice, support, and calendar planning.  She did a FET cycle last August and we are using her info as a template until I get my packet in the mail.

With her cycle, she went in for a(an)

• ultrasound/lining check on CD12 ("ovulation day")
• Embryo Transfer on CD18/6dpo
• beta (pregnancy test) CD27/15dpo/9dpt

So far, this cycle is MUCH EASIER than anything related to our IVF cycle.  Taking BCP, Lupron, Follistim + Menopur, and Novarel was crazy!  Popping one tiny pill each morning and night is much simpler than any injection.  Today starts day three of taking the Estrogen, and I have yet to feel any side effects/symptoms (which is GREAT).  I will have to start  the progesterone-in-oil (PIO) injections closer to the time of transfer, but they are easy as long as someone else is administering it.

I will continue to update my FET page with all medicines, side effects, symptoms, and anything else related to the cycle (as I did with our IVF#1 attempt).

Also, I have been posting on Twitter lately (updating about fertility junk and zombies as usual).

Hope Renewal??

"It can take a lot of courage to be real and honest with others.  Be brave and let your truth shine."- via text message from Attain Fertility

I never want my blog to be one that brings others down.  I hope (there's that awesome word)  to be positive and optimistic about each step in our journey.  That isn't always going to be the case.  It is impossible to be upbeat, excited, and happy ALL of the time no matter what type of situation Life has thrown at you.

I have made a Resolution to be "Surprisingly Satisfied."

"I do solemnly resolve to embrace my current season of life and will maximize my time in it.  I will resist the urge to hurry through or circumvent any portion of my journey but will live with a spirit of contentment."  The Resolution for Women p30 (spoken aloud and signed 7-17-12)

Yesterday was a bad day.  There's no other way to explain it, but that was yesterday.  Today is a new day and it's a great day to have a good day!

Let me also say that my husband is amazing.  He was truly meant to be my better half.  Only he can calm me down, make me laugh, and make me feel loved all at the same time.  He is my rock and I am glad that God chose him to be my sneakers (inside joke y'all should all know by now).

I'm continuing to read The Resolution for Women and it is amazing.  Brandon has already read The Resolution for Men, signed The Resolution, and completed a bible study with the other men at church, but we are now having our own study.  We had said that we would "talk" once a week, but that has turned into about two to three times a week!  God is using this book to help us through our current season of life.  I will continue to post more as I sign each resolution.

source:  Google

Please visit Ali at Not All Dreams Are Free.  She just completed IVF #1 and had her beta(pregnancy test)-->it was low at 13.  They told her to stop crinone and wait for miscarriage.  Please show her some love.  I know she needs it right now.

IVF for Beginners

Many of you reading actually know me (and Brandon) in real life.  Before undergoing fertility treatments, we both had limited knowledge about ART.  When my SIL, Sheri, went through IF procedures, I found myself searching google constantly to have some type of understanding of what she was going through.  This post is intended to help my friends and family understand IVF.
*How can I ask you to pray for me if you don't know what to pray for?!?*

At this point in our journey, it's obvious that Brandon and I cannot conceive on our own.  A brief rundown of our IF diagnosis:

• Male Factor Infertility- poor morphology, low motility, and low count due to Testicular Cancer and Chemotherapy.  We do not have enough swimmers to even get pregnant via IUI at this point
  
• Uterine Septum- mostly corrected, but my uterus will always have the characteristics of a septate uterus.  It has a tiny curvature at the top that makes it unique.
• Annovulation- I do not ovulate without stimulation drugs (ex: Femara, Clomid, Follistim, Gonal F, Menopur, etc.)  I believe that I've only had 5 or so cycles where I ovulated without stimming drugs in the past 2 years.

We believe that God has led us to this place in our journey.  We have taken many factors into consideration and feel that this is our best option at the current time to have a child (children).  The likelihood of us ever conceiving on our own is miniscule.  We know that nothing is impossible with God.  We know that pursuing IVF is part of His plan.  We will listen to Him each step of the way.

We are pursuing IVF with ICSI to have a child.  

IVF refers to the process, and there are many steps along the way.


IVF with ICSI

In Vitro Fertilization is commonly referred to as IVF. IVF is the process of fertilization by manually combining an egg and sperm in a laboratory dish. When the IVF procedure is successful, the process is combined with a procedure known as embryo transfer, which involves physically placing the embryo in the uterus. American Pregnancy Association

Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) involves the direct injection of sperm into eggs obtained from IVF.  American Pregnancy Association

Here is a brief explanation of how the process of IVF works (in our scenario):

• A new cycle begins
• A baseline u/s and bw appointment is scheduled to check hormones and the uterus and tubes.
• Suppression is started.  In my case, we are beginning with BCP.
• After so many days of BCP, injectable medication is added as well.  
• In my case, I am prescribed Lupron injections for 12 days in addition to taking my BCP.  
• A suppression check is scheduled to ensure that there has been no follicle growth or thickening of the uterine lining.
• Begin stimulation drugs for ovulation induction.  
• In my case, we are taking Follistim and Menopur for at least 10 days.
• Many office visits are scheduled to monitor and observe the follicles (that produce the egg).
• Once the follicles reach the desired measurement, the HCG trigger shot is administered, and the Egg Retrieval is scheduled.  
• On average, 70% of follicles aspirated will provide one egg. 
• There are no guarantees that every follicle will contain an egg, and that every egg will fertilize.
• After the retrieval, the eggs collected are then fertilized with Brandon's sperm
• This is where ICSI is performed.  
• After fertilization takes place, the embryos are closely monitored.  
• The plan is a 5-day transfer.
• When the embryos are five days old, they select the best, which are then transferred via vaginal catheter with ultrasound guidance.
• We are planning on transferring 2 embryos.  
• If we have more good quality embryos remaining, we will freeze them for later use. 
• At this point, I am PUPO!
• I will try and remain as calm and peaceful as possible while we wait.
• Nine days after my ET (14dpo) and (9dp5dt), we will go in for our beta to see if we are pregnant

There is much stress involved in IVF.  I'm praying for peace as we go through this process.  Once we get results, I will update here.  Within my blog, I have created a page outlining our IVF attempt.  If we have great beta numbers, I will want us to tell our families before posting.  If our numbers aren't promising, it will be easier to post here so I don't have as many people to tell.  

For now, I'm praying for God's will in our situation.  Whether IVF gives us a child or not, we will give glory to Him.  God is the ultimate healer and giver of live.  

Please visit my Lingo page for further explanation about any acronyms used in this post. =)  The coming posts will begin to contain more and more as we continue to move forward.

More Instagram & Baseline Appointment

Well, AF arrived sooner than expected.  I had planned to call the nurse at ART today to ask for Provera.  God decided otherwise (probably with some help from the supermoon).  I noticed some spotting Friday afternoon and "she" showed up in full force on Saturday.  I was extremely confused and even called Kayla to try and figure out my wonky cycle.  During this previous cycle, I never ovulated or had a clear pattern.  I had some strange mid-cycle spotting and felt all over the place.

Previous cycle's BBT chart

I only spotted yesterday and seem to be doing the same today.  My baseline appointment is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 9:15am. This starts my 19th cycle TTC. I am hopeful that the 2.35cm cyst from my past two cycles is gone.  God, I know you are hearing this.  If it is your will, let the cyst be gone. 

Tomorrow will only be 4 weeks since Brandon began his fast from Skoal.  I am in hopes that they will go ahead and allow me to begin taking BCP in preparation for IVF.  I don't feel ready.  I was still planning on having 2 more weeks, but God's timing is always the best timing.

Here are a few more of my photos from the May Photo Challenge. These pictures aren't as pretty as the ones in my first post.  I promise to try harder with the next batch!  Enjoy!

May 5- Bird - from the Mother Daughter Banquet

May 6- Me- Laying out in the backyard

May 7- Someone that inspires you- My husband works so hard to provide for me.

Mother Daughter Banquet

Me, Gran, Mom, and Beth; 3 Generations

Our church had the 2nd Annual Mother Daughter Banquet this weekend.  The proceeds from this event benefit The Road to Bethlehem Ministry in our church.  This particular ministry helps give Christmas gifts and dinner to children in need in Calera.

In the beginning I was hesitant about attending.  I was afraid that the event would make me sad, but then realized that there are many women in my church who have children, but no daughters.  Mother's Day and events about mothers are hard for anyone with an empty cradle.  I am so glad that I had my family and friends there with me.  I did not shed one tear, and did not feel sorry for myself for not being a mom yet.  I was overwhelmed with the power of the Holy Spirit and grateful for all the blessings that have been given to me.

I'm so glad that I decided to go and host a table.  Midway through the day yesterday, I was asked if I could sing.  Wow, I haven't sang in public in a LONG time.  My mother and I sang "Redemption Song" a capella.   I was so nervous, but my Mom gave me confidence.  I think we did a ok to have only practiced twice about 20 minutes before the banquet began.

In attendance at my table were Mom, Beth, Gran, Aunt Penny, Rachel, and Jennifer.  Here are some pictures from the evening.

Eleanna Burke organized the entire event.  She did a fabulous job! 

We all had table themes.  My theme was "Not Every Hero Wears a Mask."  Yes, I know, I'm a nerd! =)

Beth (my little sister) and me

Joy was our special speaker.  Her story is amazing and I will be sharing more on my blog once I get my notes together.

Mom and the rooster timer she won (we had door prizes!)

Jennifer and myself (She's been so supportive of me!  She's always there with a kind word and open heart.  I couldn't have made it through the past few months without her.  She's been like a sister to me.)

Beth and Aunt Penny

Nesia (Joy's miracle baby) and me

Me with Rachel (my surrogate daughter)

Stress

Yesterday was blah.  My head was pounding half of the day and I felt like I was in a fog.  My chest started hurting and I felt like I did when they told me I needed another surgery.  I wasn't even thinking about the week or anything.  The pain just came on out of nowhere. 

We kept Hayden for Liz last night.  He's the perfect baby!  He was so quiet!!  He ate his dinner and played with all of our superhero toys.  He pulled up on everything and even acted like he was going to walk.  It was nice to get to play with him and get some snuggle time in.

Hayden reminded me of why we're doing all of this. =) Sometimes having a baby seems so far away.  There is always some obstacle in the way; surgery, recovery, sperm, medicines, etc.  We have been trying for about 1.5 years now.  I cannot believe we've made it this far.  I cannot believe we're still getting along (haha)!  This whole process has been extremely stressful for us, but we've done the best we can.  Infertility does NOT come with a handbook. =)

Waiting for Cycle 10...

I took my last BCP last night.  I'm looking forward to cycle 10 as a stress-free cycle.  =)

Brandon and his brother drove to Louisiana yesterday to visit their grandmother in the hospital.  Did I mention that I do NOT like to stay home by myself?  I barely got any sleep last night.  I took 2 Tylenol PMs and still barely rested.  I feel ok right now but will have to pound the caffeine to stay functional today.

Brandon and I have talked about not taking BCP for this next cycle.  Lately, I've felt like I'm in a fog.  I can't survive the afternoon without a shot of Pepto Bismol, and I get so tired for no reason.  Maybe I'll take this next cycle off and then start BCP for the next go round to get ready for surgery.