Friday, July 12, 2013

I miss blogging

The title says it all. To be honest I'm still struggling with being a new mother. I seriously have no idea what I'm doing most days. 

Since I last wrote we have continued to have a fussy baby. The new medicine is helping Ellie's acid reflux, but she has such a gassy belly. We are sick of the mylicon drops! They do NOT help Ellie. A neighbor had suggested gripe water and we've seen little to no difference from them either. We purchased the Windi and it did not help as much as we expected either. :( 

I've cut out all forms of dairy from my diet.  I have maybe one 8 oz Sprite daily just for something different to drink. I've drastically changed the amount of carbonated drinks that I consume to help with Ellie. I second guess each meal before I eat thinking about how it will affect miss priss. 

We've been supplementing my breast milk with Enfamil Nutramigin that has NO cow milk. Ellie will only drink the formula if  it's mixed with my milk. It does make me happy that she prefers Mommy's Milk! We've also been adding a little rice cereal to her bottles to help with the reflux. I was worried about over feeding her, but I read where lots of other moms were adding the cereal to their reflux babies bottles as well. 

There's no denying that I'm an attachment style parent. I read about it before Ellie was born and knew that was going to be me. I knew that we would co-sleep in the same room but that wasn't enough for our Ellie. People don't often share this but I'm going to........ We bedshare. There- I said it. That is the ONLY way that our daughter will sleep. We've swaddled her, and she cries when she's put down away from us. I'm sure I will get some nasty comments about letting Ellie sleep in the bed with us but were just trying to survive. I wake up so often to make sure Ellie is comfortable and I no longer need my pillow to sleep. I so hope that one day Ellie will sleep on her own, but I do like having her close to me. 

Colic....... There's no denying that Ellie is a colicky baby. She starts crying each afternoon anywhere from 1:30 pm onward until bedtime. Thank goodness she is comforted by the sound of the vacuum cleaner! I have an app on my phone that mimics the sound and it is great at helping soothe our sweet girl. The world's just too big for her. 

Let me say that PPD and colicky babies don't go we'll together. But I am proud that I opened up to my husband and family and got the help I needed. I've been on the lowest dose of Prozac for about 5 weeks now and I know that it's the only reason I have not pulled my hair out so far. I prayed and prayed for a child, but was not prepared at all for her to cry for no reason for hours on end. I am just getting a handle on it, and she is beginning to find comfort in just hearing my voice. It's been a rough 7 weeks here at the Boyington house but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I am in love with Ellie and can't imagine life without her. God is good.

(Please excuse any typos because I'm writing from my phone while Miss Ellie is asleep in my arms.) 

13 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that you are having a tough go of the last few weeks. I hope you can figure out some sort of solution for Ellie and her reflux.

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  2. You have to do what works for you regardless of what people say. Nothing infuriates me more when other moms put down other moms parenting styles. We all need to support each other!

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  3. I miss reading your blogs also, but fully understand that your job as Ellie's mom is way more important. Take care of yourself.

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  4. I miss your blogs too, but wowzers it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. A friend of mine breastfed her baby and was taking prozac and it caused colic-like symptoms with her baby. They were mild and her doctor didn't sound concerned. Plus he said that a happy mom with a mildly colic baby was a better scenario than her not taking the medication.

    Ellie is beautiful!

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  5. I'm so sorry you've had to go through so much! I wish I had advice, but I have none to give. Carry on momma! I hope your'e able to get a few moments for yourself here and there. :(

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  6. Thinking of you. Don't even worry if others comment about co-sleeping. You do what's best for you. You are her mommy, no one else :) and only you know what's best for her. Hang on there!

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  7. Ellie sounds a lot like my son when he was an infant. I cut out dairy and was terrified to eat anything for fear that it would irritate his gassy stomach. He had reflux and the only med that helped was Prevacid (ask you pedi about it...). I was a mess for about 4 months and was almost malnourished from such strict dietary restrictions. We bed shared out of desperation, too. Now he is the happiest two year old on the planet and sleeps like a teenager! Just hang in there- you will be so surprised at how fast this colicky stage passes and you will have your dream baby back.
    P.s. we just had a daughter 9 days ago and she is the calmest little baby so far...I'm just praying she stays this way haha!

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  8. Maybe she has another intolerance besides dairy. Maybe gluten or soy?

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  9. Sleep on! We just had twins and we have one in bed with us at least every night. Do what works for your family.

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  10. Hang in there! It sounds like you are doing a great job! We used probiotic in one bottle a day for my twins when they had colic and it really helped!!

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  11. The omeprazole should just be kicking in. Hang in there.

    It helps me to look back on my bubs newborn pics from the day he was born. He looks so different already! Everything is so fast! Including the rough days! They are behind you before you know

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  12. Youre right, it's such an adjustment....and colicky babies make it even harder. You are doing great, just one day at a time and this will not last forever....

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  13. Good luck and you can do it! The first year is a blur. I've been reading of your journey since I went through IVF and was happy to hear of your baby. Its okay to be tired and want a break even though you've fought for the sweet baby.

    Take care of yourself and your baby. The rest will fall somewhat into place and other stuff will fade away.

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Thank you for visiting my blog! I appreciate your comments and support on our journey.

As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.
Psalm 71:14