Don't Ignore the Scripture

Barren:

1. not producing or incapable of producing offspring; sterile:  a barren woman
2. unproductive; unfruitful:  barren land

Don't Ignore the Scripture!

Throughout the Bible, many stories are written about women who had difficulty conceiving.  In each of these stories, a child was produced.  If that's not comfort, I don't know what is.  Infertility is a disease that affects us for a period of time.  (I will not go into the conversation of once an infertile, always an infertile.)

 I believe that we all have different pathways to parenthood.  Some people get pregnant easily and some do not.  Some use ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) and some do not.  Some adopt and some live child free.  Brandon and I know that living child free is not an option for us.  If using ART does not give us a child, we will adopt.  Becoming parents is the ultimate goal for us no matter what it takes for us to get there.

Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her! Luke 1:45

 The following table lists out the couples in the Bible who had difficulty in conceiving a child.  I cannot read these accounts enough.  They provide me with comfort and arm me when the enemy attacks.  My favorite story is the account of Hannah.  She cried out to God.  She prayed for a child and God gave her Samuel.   I hope that these scripture references can give you peace and comfort as they have for me. 

Couple Struggling	Problem	Solution	Child(ren) produced	Biblical Reference
Abraham and Sarah	Both well advanced in age and beyond the age of childbearing (Genesis 18:11).	God promises them a child (Genesis 17:15-21, Genesis 18:9-15). Abraham and then Sarah believe the promise (Genesis 15:6, Hebrews 11:11).	Isaac	Genesis 15-21
Isaac and Rebekah	Rebekah was barren	Issac pleads with the Lord on behalf of his wife and God grants his plea.	Twins: Esau and Jacob	Genesis 25:21
Rachel and Jacob	Rachel was barren	God listens to Rachel and opens her womb (Genesis 30:22 and Genesis 30:24).	Joseph and Benjamin	Genesis 29, 30
Manoah and his wife	No children because wife was barren	Angel of the LORD appears to woman and tells her she shall conceive and bear a son (Judges 13:3). Manoah receives the promise (Judges 13:12).	Samson	Judges 13
Hannah and Elkanah	Hannah was barren	Hannah weeps in anguish and prays asking God for a son. The LORD remembers her and she conceives and births a child.	Samuel, 3 more sons, and 2 daughters (1 Samuel 2:21)	1 Samuel 1
The great Shunammite woman and husband	The woman was barren and her husband was old	The prophet Elisha promises her that she will have a son within a year and she does.	A son	2 Kings 4:8-17
Elisabeth and Zachariah	Both well-stricken in years and barren	Zachariah prays. An angel appears to Zachariah promising a son.	John the Baptist	Luke 1

Sarah's Laughter is a great resource for women dealing with Infertility and Christianity.

Basic understanding of the disease of Infertility
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Don't Ignore My Feelings

Infertility Sucks. 

There's no other way to describe it.  I wish that I had more eloquent words to use to describe how heartbreaking this disease is, but I do not.  It simply sucks.

Please, Don't Ignore My Feelings.  Unless you have personally been affected by Infertility, you do not know how it feels.  You do not know the longing I have for a little one.  You do not know how much my heart hurts to see swollen, pregnant bellies.  You do not know how difficult it is to hear pregnancy announcements from people who "weren't even trying." Each day comes with it's new challenges. 

If you don't know what to say, don't say anything at all.  Please don't tell us to relax, adopt, get drunk, or go on a vacation.   I assure you it's not that simple.  During the first year of trying, most of us are relaxed.  I am positive that our stress levels had nothing to do with my husband's testicular cancer, or my Uterine Septum and Stage II Endometriosis. Also, please don't tell us that, "It will happen."  We know this to be true.  We both truly believe that we will blessed with a child in God's timing, but it doesn't make the process any easier.

Please refrain from telling me how easily you got pregnant.  Please don't complain about your sleepless nights filled with midnight feedings, and how you never get any quiet time.  It hurts.  I would give up everything to have that. (And if you need a date night with your spouse, we are always pleased to help out.)

Because Infertility has been a hushed subject of conversation for some time, many people don't know what to say.  Resolve has complied a great list of topics related to Infertility Etiquette.  Most of the time, people say things unintentionally that hurt. If you know someone suffering from Infertility, please check out the list of things NOT to say.

This post was not meant to be written as aggressive as it may read.  I have heard every old wives tale in the book, and been given much strange advice on how to get pregnant.  Yes, we did choose to make our journey and struggle private, but only because we wanted to help others like us.

Basic understanding of the disease of Infertility
About NIAW