Monday, April 23, 2012

Don't Ignore My Feelings

Infertility Sucks. 

There's no other way to describe it.  I wish that I had more eloquent words to use to describe how heartbreaking this disease is, but I do not.  It simply sucks.

Please, Don't Ignore My Feelings Unless you have personally been affected by Infertility, you do not know how it feels.  You do not know the longing I have for a little one.  You do not know how much my heart hurts to see swollen, pregnant bellies.  You do not know how difficult it is to hear pregnancy announcements from people who "weren't even trying." Each day comes with it's new challenges. 

If you don't know what to say, don't say anything at all.  Please don't tell us to relax, adopt, get drunk, or go on a vacation.   I assure you it's not that simple.  During the first year of trying, most of us are relaxed.  I am positive that our stress levels had nothing to do with my husband's testicular cancer, or my Uterine Septum and Stage II Endometriosis. Also, please don't tell us that, "It will happen."  We know this to be true.  We both truly believe that we will blessed with a child in God's timing, but it doesn't make the process any easier.

Please refrain from telling me how easily you got pregnant.  Please don't complain about your sleepless nights filled with midnight feedings, and how you never get any quiet time.  It hurts.  I would give up everything to have that. (And if you need a date night with your spouse, we are always pleased to help out.)

Because Infertility has been a hushed subject of conversation for some time, many people don't know what to say.  Resolve has complied a great list of topics related to Infertility Etiquette.  Most of the time, people say things unintentionally that hurt. If you know someone suffering from Infertility, please check out the list of things NOT to say.

This post was not meant to be written as aggressive as it may read.  I have heard every old wives tale in the book, and been given much strange advice on how to get pregnant.  Yes, we did choose to make our journey and struggle private, but only because we wanted to help others like us.