Recap since I last posted in June...

Let's see.  Where do I even begin.  Blogging with a toddler is nearly impossible!

We missed our vacation in July due to Brandon's kidney stone episode.  We were all set to leave on vacation, when Brandon felt that all to familiar pain of dreaded kidney stones.  He had surgery and they removed a couple! This isn't his first tango with them, so we have been seeing a specialist to keep an eye out on more forming.

We were able to travel with Brandon in September to Destin for a work conference.  It was a great vacation that was desperately needed!  We visited the beach last September with Ellie, so this wasn't her first trip.  She absolutely loved the sand and the water-which is funny because she doesn't like the lake at all.

Elliana 15 months

Listing the house proved to be more drama that we thought.  It seemed like the house would NEVER SELL!  I believe we ended up with SIX total offers on the house, and THREE contracts to fall through.
At one point we had a contract on another home when the contract on this house fell through.  It was all so much chaos, but I can say now that we close on this house within the next month.  We are planning to live with my Dad to save money until we find our dream home.  Now we are just in the beginning stages of packing up!

We never began another FET cycle.  It just never seemed like the right time.  Granny was diagnosed with Stage III/IV (inoperable) Lung Cancer.  Then with selling the house and moving with my Dad, it didn't seem that beginning a cycle would line up.  We received the shock of a lifetime in September.  I realized that I was more than a couple days late-which was nothing new post partum and after breastfeeding for a year.  I decided to take a test on Sunday, September 21....  It was the fastest positive pregnancy test I've ever seen.  We are expecting another baby in May 2015.  We immediately called ART and they scheduled bloodwork and an ultrasound.  We saw them for four weeks and were just released to the care of my OB.

Each day we are still in shock and are blessed to be pregnant. After my first appointment, they called and wanted my progesterone levels to be higher (mine =12.9; wanted over 15).  We have been injecting 1 cc PIO since September 22.  It looks like we will continue injections until I'm 10 weeks on October 27.  I promise to be a better blogger in the future and continue to update about Sweet Ellie and The Sneak!

More photos!

Listing the House with a Stomach Bug

It's almost that time... we list the house this Friday and we are nowhere near ready!  The contractor shows up tomorrow with his crew to repair our kitchen floor (that's been needing repair for the past 7+ years), I'm still cleaning out closets in an attempt to show how much space this house has, and I have a stomach bug.

I threw up a couple of times on Thursday.  I felt pretty nasty and chewed Phenergen like it was candy!  Today I woke up with a queasy stomach, but I cannot stop going to the bathroom!  It's not polite to talk about the potty, but I've visited it about 18 times so far today and it's just noon. :(  I sent Brandon and Ellie to church so I could rest.  Of course rest for me equaled watching an episode of Breaking Bad on Netflix, then starting the dishwasher and cleaning up my crafting area.  The thought of taking all of my crafting supplies over to Dad's house for the duration of listing our house terrified me!  I just hope that I can keep it all contained while the house is on the market.

Ellie has started having some trouble with sleeping again.  I stopped nursing her during the day,and it was an adjustment for her going to sleep for nap without the boob in her mouth.  I still  nurse her at night, but she wakes up as soon as we try to lay her down.  After many tries last night, Brandon was finally successful in laying her down.

I don't have much else to write about.  My mind is frazzled trying to fight off this stomach bug, along with attempting to tidy up the house!

Selling the House, Boobin, & FET#2

I had meant to sit down and write before now but we've been busy!

We had Ellie's birthday party last weekend and it was perfect!  It's still hard for me to believe that she's ONE! Every day is getting a little bit easier. I did manage to lose my wallet last week but those kind of things happen! I was more proud of  myself for not having a complete freak out!

We plan to put our house on the market June 13. Brandon had wanted to list our house last summer but it would have been way too much stress for this new Momma. We have been painting inside and outside to make the house look as good as possible! I've packed away some of Ellie's toys that we don't play with often, and have de-cluttered many closets. We won't move anywhere far from where we are now, but Ellie makes it super difficult for Brandon to work from home! She's always knocking  on the door and we are loud! :)

On Ellie's birthday we also celebrated the one year breastfeeding milestone! I've been very proud of myself for this accomplishment. We still nurse twice a day right now, and Ellie has whole milk in her sippy cup throughout the day. I will miss nursing her. Believe me, it was difficult in the beginning, but SO WORTH it! I would love to continue nursing much longer, but Brandon and I want to attempt another FET by the end of the summer. I wouldn't be comfortable feeding Ellie while taking the medicine, and I'm also not stopping cold turkey either. Ellie still tries to nurse some during the day and I've been good to keep her distracted. I broke down the other day, but she was having so teething drama and I was tired of hearing her cry!

Right now our plan is to go back to ART in July after our beach trip and begin the necessary bloodwork and other procedures to get the process started. Dr Allemand has waived me having another HSG - thank you Jesus! I mean, a girl shouldn't have to endure more than 3 of those nasty tests! It should just be a few appointments and then we wait for AF and start Estrace. I'm very hopeful that this is our plan. Neither of us want to wait too long to have another baby. I will be sad if our second FET isn't successful, but I don't see IVF in our future unless it's an egg donor cycle.

I will make sure to update as FET #2 gets underway. Right now it's time to start taking all of my vitamins again and begin eliminating caffeine!

ONE

Elliana turned ONE today.  Where has the past year gone?

I wish that I had written more in her first year.  Between the PPD, Colic, Acid Reflux and just life... you know.  I hope and plan to write more in the future.

She had a check up today and she weighs 22 lbs 4 oz, is 29.75 in tall and has a big head! :)  She says MaMa, DaDa, Pop, PaPa, ByeBye, Bird, and her favorite is HOT.  She started walking about a month ago and is all over the place.  She loves music and dances now.  She's just growing up so much.  Everyone always says that the grow up so quickly but I had no idea until now.

Here are a few pictures of The Birthday Girl!

I truly thought I wouldn't be one of those blogger moms who forgot about their blog once the baby came.  I assure you that I never forgot about the blog.  I just didn't know what to write about, or couldn't find the time, or didn't just want to show up here to complain.  I've seriously missed this writing space and will continue to make time to write in the near future.

Postpartum Depression

I was diagnosed with PPD within weeks of having our daughter.  Guilt.  Anxiety.  Panic Attacks.  Anger.  Exhaustion.  Helplessness.  Each day is still a battle for me.  

Sweet Elliana had some serious fourth trimester issues, nasty acid reflux, and a touch of colic.  Our sweet girl did not sleep through the night until she was past six months old.  I swore that I would never bedshare, but that adorable angel slept on her Daddy's chest or in my arms for the first four months of her life.  While she was supposed to be nursing every three to four hours, she was crying to be fed every two.  She was feisty to say the least.  

Now she's nine months old.  Ellie has been sleeping through the night for about two months now.  We had an ear infection last week and it's disrupted our sleep some, but we can get back on track soon.  

I wish I could speak differently about the depression that haunts me.  Motherhood is all that I've ever wanted.  For the two years that we struggled to conceive I promised myself that I would enjoy each and every little moment with my children.  PPD has stolen so many of these moments from me.  My anxiety is ridiculous.  I've only recently begun to leave Elliana in the church nursery during service.  Between Brandon and myself we probably check on her six times during a 45 minute sermon.  Other than Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings, I'm never away from her.  Part of me wants some time on my own, but the other gets nervous at the very thought.  

I've stepped away from my blog for some time now because I haven't known what to write about.  I haven't wanted to complain, but I now truly realize what PPD has stolen from me.  I'm trying to simplify my days and not let having dishes in the sink make or break my day.  Elliana and I are finding more activities to do together to keep us out of the house!  So look for more posts about our adventures together.