Bleh

I'm supposed to have surgery today.  I'm supposed to be excited about taking the next step in my TTC journey today.

Ok, I got that out.  Yesterday wasn't too bad.  I kept bust at work.  Only downside was that the boss was in a mood, but it kept my mind off my cancelled surgery.  My RE nurse called and said that I could make up my own mind about BCP.  I think I just may stay on them until September.  It may be nice to know when AF is scheduled to arrive and so forth.  Plus, I've seen an increase in chest size and I think I'd like to keep them until September.  =)

I got to tan last night.  =)  I figure I'm going to let myself do the things that I usually don't since I have to wait for surgery and TTC.  Tanning in the tanning bed actually made me forget everything while I baked, and relaxed me.

I'm just going to have to keep finding the positive to keep from getting upset.  There's truly no reason to be upset because I'll still get to have the surgery, just not for another 9ish weeks.  Patience has never been a strong point for myself, but somehow I'm sure that I'll make it.  Now I'll just try to look forward to Brandon's appointment with the urologist in July and find other "half-way" points along the way to September 1 (Brandon's birthday). 

Heartache

My insurance will not cover surgery until September.  I have to wait the one-year time period to have any surgeries.  I am extremely disappointed that I will not be having the surgery tomorrow.

Why does this always happen? 

Just waiting on Thursday

It's only Tuesday!!  I feel like Thursday will never get here.  Who ever got excited about having surgery???  =) 

We had my nephew's birthday party over the weekend and we got to see my Mom and siblings.  My MIL stayed with us on Sunday.  There was no rest over the weekend.  My bags are already packed for the lake this upcoming weekend.  I am bound and determined to feel good after surgery so I can enjoy some time on the lake.

I'm hoping that today and tomorrow will fly by. 

8 days and counting

Today's my nephew's birthday.  He's 2 years old.  It seems like yesterday he was a little baby and now he's growing up so fast.  I hope that Brandon and I will be able to give him a cousin soon. =) 

This morning, I ran across a few fertility websites, but was most impressed with Conceive.  Everything within the site is explained well.  There was even an article listed that discusses my medical issue-septate uterus.
Here's a link to the article:  Uncommon Uterus. Before my diagnosis, I had never even heard of a septate uterus.  Now, I find information about it on most all fertility websites.  Go figure.

Only 8 more days....  =)

Off Day

I'm so glad to have a day off work that doesn't include DRs appointments!  I've done laundry, grocery shopped, and picked up around the house.  I even got to talk to my SIL before 9am. =)  I know you love my early morning calls, Sheri. =)

I watched a few episodes of 16 & Pregnant today.  It seems like the show only glamorizes the good stuff about teenage pregnancy.  It must be nice to get "knocked up" so easily. Most girls spend their whole young adult lives trying to NOT get pregnant.  It just seems funny now.  It's even funnier to me that I'm on birth control pills until my surgery--ironic.

I'm still counting down the days until my surgery.  It still seems so far away, but at least I'm not waiting until July or anything.  I'm trying to stay positive, but I am NOT a patient person.  My hope was to be pregnant before the end of the summer, but now I'm not sure.  Hopefully August will be a good month for the Boyingtons.  =)

So for now I guess I'll just be anxious for August. 

Father's Day

I spent Father's Day with my Dad on the lake yesterday.  We rode around drinking beer.  It was a nice day.  I only got upset a few times, but kept it to myself.  Brandon admitted that it sucked to not be a father on Father's Day.  It made me feel better that he's not numb to infertility.

Only about ten days or so until my surgery.  Is it weird to be excited about surgery?  I guess I'm just ready to have it so we're one step closer to becoming parents.  

Surgery

I went back to see the RE on Wednesday.  He feels positive that it's a septate uterus.  I am scheduled for surgery Thursday, June 30.  At the moment, I'm excited that it's so close!  We were afraid that it wouldn't be until July or later.  The recovery time isn't too long, so I'll hopefully have a medicated IUI cycle around August! 

Dr. Bates started me on BCP to keep my lining thin for the surgery.  Thus far I've had little or no side effects. My stomach is cramping this morning, but I'm not sure if it's nerves or the BCP.  It hit me this morning that I was supposed to have my IUI today.  I just feel that I was so close to being a mother and it was stolen from me.  I know the risks that were involved with conceiving with a septate uterus and it's better that I'm not pregnant right now.

Maybe work will be busy today so I don't have to think about "what might have been."  I'm asking God for patience and understanding today. 

Anniversary and Waiting til Wednesday

Today is our 2nd Wedding Anniversary and we've been together for 4 years.  =) We spent Friday, Saturday, and part of Sunday at B's parent's lake house.

We had a nice time and got to relax in the sun.  I would have LOVED to go to the beach, but it just wasn't feasible with our added expenses of fertility stuff. 

My HSG last Wednesday wasn't as bad as I thought.  It was not comfortable at all, but the DRs and nurses were GREAT with me.  My tubes were all clear, BUT my uterus didn't look right. =(  At the time they were not sure if it was a bicornuate uterus, OR if there was a septum there.  After the ultrasound today, they think that it's a septum--see picture on the left. 


So,  it looks like I'll not be having the IUI this cycle.  I see Dr. Bates on Wednesday.  We'll possibly do another ultrasound if he wants to look himself, although the lady today was positive that it was a septum.  They'll do a laparoscopy to remove the septum, and recovery time is supposed to be quick.  =)  

I'm a little discouraged that I won't be pregnant this  month, but I'd rather get pregnant and have a healthy baby. The risks associated with the bicornuate were scary and I could NOT imagine getting pregnant and losing my child.

Now I just have to make it to Wednesday to figure out our game plan. =)