Day Three with the Kiddos

Three days down!

Nesia is making this all far too easy!  She slept through the night making not a peep.  I actually got up once to go check in on her because I didn't hear her cry out or talk in her sleep.  Elliana was moving about all night long and I had a hard time falling back to sleep whenever I woke up.

Since we stayed at my house, I was able to sleep in and it felt great.  I've had help each day with Nesia, but I'm still exhausted, probably because I'm so big and swollen now.

She looks so peaceful when she's sleeping.  She does NOT like to keep any covers on her!

 Sia enjoyed watching Mickey Mouse Club House this morning

She crawled into Brandon's recliner beside me and watched TV for a little while.  She's been to our house quite a few times and feels at home here now.

Of course I had to jinx myself.  Sia wanted to play with Uncle B and could not understand that he had to work.  She would point at his door with this sad look on her face.  We got dressed and went outside to play.  Of course I had to lather up with sunscreen and a hat.  We were only outside about 30 minutes and she remembered that she missed Uncle B. 

I'm so glad we have some baby toys at the house.  Logan also loves Nesia!

My Granny's irises have also bloomed. 

We went back inside and she snuggled into my lap.  I'm sure she was missing her Mommy too.  About that time my Dad stopped by to say hello and it didn't phase little girl one bit.  BUT Uncle B did not read the text message to stay in his office!  He peeked his head out and she pointed for him.  After that he had to stay and help me with her so I could fix us some lunch.  She ate about half of my club sandwich and some of Brandon's.  She can eat!  Brandon got a call and had to go into his office, so she once again snuggled into my lap and went to sleep this time. 

She had her hand on my belly.  She likes to poke my belly button and rub Ellie.

CourtCourt then got a much needed break in the sunshine.  I've always loved to be tan and I can't hop in the tanning bed, so I've been outside every chance I get.  It was getting close to time to get moving, so I got cleaned up and loaded the car.  Unfortunately, I had to wake up Sia to put her in the van to go pick up the boys from the school bus.  She was not happy at first but she loves to sing in the car, so we cranked up the radio and she liked watching me sing and car dance! 

Since it was Wednesday we headed on to the church to help in the kitchen.  It was Mexican night and we had an amazing meal.  The boys kept up with Nesia so I could help Miss Wendy (as much as I can help these days).  I'm always excited to help with the desserts! 

Apparently the boys printed off too many name tags.  Silas had himself covered in them!

After dinner, I asked Brandon to help with cleaning up since I was so tired.  We ended up in the nursery wait for the boys to get out of their classes.  Sia has Uncle B wrapped around her little finger.

 Of course Sia didn't fall asleep on the ride home.  That would have been too easy.  Brandon stayed out at The Farm with me so I wouldn't be so overwhelmed.  I made sure all of the boys got their showers and laid their clothes out for the next day and Brandon got Nesia to wind down.  He had her asleep in no time.  I don't know what I'd do without my sweet husband.  He's absolutely amazing.

Funny random story:  I have to burp a lot.  There's nothing lady like about it, but Nesia has noticed.  Such a precious girl, she says "bless you" every time I burp out loud.  (I promise I don't do it in public!).  She thinks it's funny to say "bless you"  and then she imitates me burping.  Joy's just going to love that!

Day Two with the Kiddos

Two days down!  Woohoo!

The boys got up around 6:20 am, wait; Paul got up on time.  Paul is the oldest and is wise beyond his years. He got up and made sure to get the other two boys moving in the right direction.  Once they were awake they snacked on breakfast and headed out the door to meet the school bus.

Nesia slept til about 9 am or so.  She cries out in her sleep often, and I'm glad I've kept her before and knew this.  When she actually woke up I could hear her talking.  She hugged onto my hip and was ready for a sippy cup of milk.  We got dressed, packed a bag, and headed out.

It wouldn't be a true parenthood experience if I didn't get a call from the school on the first day.  Luke hurt his foot during PE and my heart was racing waiting on the nurse to get to the phone to talk to me.  Thankfully he was alright, but they wanted to call "home" to let someone know before he got home.  He said he was fine to stay at school, although part of me wanted to rush to his aid at school.  I'm kinda attached to Joy's kids at this point.

Nesia and I went over to see Liz for a play date with H.  We had such a great time!

H enjoyed sharing his toys with Nesia

They were precious eating snack at the little table

Such a fun little girl

Liz had planned on cooking some lunch for H, but he wanted nuggets and fries!  When he says that he means that he wants Chick-fil-A!  We split some chicken nuggets and fries and little girl had no idea that we were about to play.  Nesia seemed nervous about the play place at first, but H was right there with her so she went on in and played.

She didn't climb all the way in (thankfully) but enjoyed the big stairs that were close to the floor.  If she had climbed in I don't think I would have been able to get her out.

She loved the wheel.  Nesia is pretty easy to please and probably would have stayed there all day long.  But when I told her it was time to go she was ready to put on her shoes and go "outside."  (She associates shoes with outside).

Since we were in Alabaster, I dropped by the store to see the girls.  They all know Nesia and were amazed at how big she had gotten since they had seen her last.  She ran around the store and looked at all of the jewelry saying "pretty" over and over again.

On the way home she conked out!

We went ahead and woke her up around 5 pm because Uncle B was dying to play with Sia.  I cooked some white pasta while the two of them played.  She's such a great eater! Brandon laughed because he didn't think she'd ever stop eating so he could.  She saw a snack sized bag of chips and acted like she wanted those after eating almost as much pasta as me!  I decided to get out a yogurt parfait instead and she devoured it.  It was so sweet because she snuggled in my lap in the recliner while I fed it to her.

Of course once the yogurt was finished she was up and moving again.  She loves playing with her Uncle B.

He downloaded a game that makes different sounds when you touch the pictures.  It was funny to watch Nesia imitate the animal sounds!

We took a bath since we played hard with H at his house and Chick-fil-A and then started winding down for bedtime.  She had her cup of milk and rocked with Uncle B.  He got up and walked around with her and then placed her in the pack-n-play.  She rooted around for a little bit with a few whimpers but no tears.  She was asleep in no time!

After that Brandon and I both went to bed.  It didn't take long for me to fall asleep.  Keeping up with the kids is hard work, especially when you're 33.5 weeks pregnant. =)

Day One with the Kiddos

I made it through the first day!  Go ME!

The group met at the church around 9:30 am yesterday to caravan to the Atlanta Airport and fly to Israel from there.  Joy picked me up at the house so we could see her off.

Joy and Nesia Joy--Elliana's namesake

After they left, Nesia and I went to WalMart for groceries.  I haven't mentioned it, but Brandon has been following a no-carb diet for quite some time now.  He only eats protein during the work week and allows carbohydrates on the weekend.  He follows the diet for six weeks at a time with a week break in between.  he lost about 20 lbs the first six weeks, and he's now lost about 5 lbs since starting the six week tract again.  (I'm scared, because I'm less than 15 lbs from his weight now!)

Moving on along, Nesia and I shopped Walmart, went to have lunch at Dad's house, and then she fell asleep in the car. 

This is at Dad's house.  Nesia calls him "Pops."

It's awesome to have all of my own baby stuff at home, so little girl was able to nap in the pack-n-play. 

Sleeping!

Once she was up it was time to head out to "the farm"  since the boys would  be getting off the school bus.  It's just amazing where they live.  It's about 18 miles away from my house, and their driveway is almost two miles set back off the road. 

On the way

Isn't she just adorable?

On the driveway

There's chickens walking around and I've seen one horse and donkey.  It reminds me of living with my grandparents where they had chickens, goats, pot belly pigs, and dogs.  They still have chickens and goats running around but it's not the same as when I was younger.

Silas had a baseball game, so we weren't  at the house long before heading to the ball park.  Brandon met us there to help me keep up with Nesia.  I love watching Silas's ball games! 

Silas up to bat

 Unfortunately they lost last night, but I'm pretty sure it was their first loss and we've been playing for a few weeks now.  We stopped by my house after the game to eat pizza and we went ahead and bathed Nesia so she could fall asleep on the way back to The Farm.  Once we were home I put Nesia straight into her crib and the boys all got cleaned up and set out their clothes for morning.  All in all it was a great day.  I have to be honest that I was anxious about forgetting something, but everything went well.  The boys pretty much think of Brandon and I as their aunt and uncle now so they're pretty used to us by now. 

Sweet Berta is staying with the boys for me tonight.  I knew that I couldn't stay out here continuously, and I'm so glad that she's helping us. 

33 Weeks and Bumpdate

How many weeks:
33 Weeks

How big is Ellie:
The size of a durian fruit.

Maternity Clothes:
I tried on my non-maternity summer dresses and MOST of them FIT! Many of them are flowy and look great. There were a choice few that looked ridiculous.  I typically wear dresses all the time in the summer so I'm extremely excited that my clothes still fit.  Also I may get to look nice leaving the hospital after Elliana is born since I can wear a dress.

Weight Gain Alert!
160 lbs
Gained this week:  4 lbs
Total weight gain:  37 lbs

Movement:
Baby girl gets the hiccups ALL OF THE TIME!

Food Cravings:
Still after some fried pickles.
COLD water with good ice

Food Aversions:
Anything gross.  I see some food on commercials and such and just cringe.

My Current Eating Pattern:
My appetite is back.  It's nothing like it was before, but I'm glad to actually feel hungry again.

Symptoms:
fatigue, frequent urination, swelling, carpel tunnel syndrome, increased hunger, increased thirst, anxiety, nesting, acid reflux after questionable meals, difficulty bending over in the evenings when my belly is biggest, tender breasts, colostrum leakeage

Stretch Mark Alert!
They are still only located on my booty!  I did ask my Mom and she only had them there too.  It would not bother me one bit if they were anything else, but it just cracks me up that my butt hasn't even grown as much as my tummy and I've got stretch marks on both cheeks!  (sorry if that was TMI, not really)

Sleep:
I am exhausted when it's bedtime.  I'm going to the potty anywhere from 2-5 times a night and I barely drink anything before I go to sleep.  I do have to get in the bed earlier each evening because my back hurts so bad and I can't get comfortable anywhere else.

What do I miss:
Being pregnant is such a gift, but shaving my legs has become almost painful and I can barely get out of the bathtub by myself now.

Best moment of the week:
Making hair bows for my little girl and having a good check up at the OB.

Worst moment of the week:
Didn't really have one, but the carpal tunnel syndrome is making it difficult for me to do anything.

What am I looking forward to:
April is one busy month for this Mom.  Joy leaves out of town on Monday and I will be in charge of her kids for about two weeks.  My first baby shower is also at the end of the month!

Milestones:
Every week is another milestone now.  I'm so excited that Elliana will be here soon, but not too soon!

"Elliana is still gaining weight and could gain another full inch in size this week.  My amniotic fluid is maxed out so her movements felt are forceful.  Antibodies are being passed between from me to her in an effort to aid in the continual development of her immune system."
from What to Expect When You're Expecting

Bumpdate

Jesus: The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me

This shared post on Facebook caught my eye.  

I am thrilled to be pregnant, carrying my daughter and first born child.  I think everyone who knows Brandon and myself are pretty sure that we're over the moon excited about becoming parents.  BUT is life less meaningful without children?  I do not think it is.  Brandon and I struggled greatly when trying to conceive, but we still had children in our lives.  We volunteered in the nursery at church to hold the babies and the parents allowed us to love on their children.  It may not be exactly the same, but we both could attempt to fill that void by helping our friends with their kids.

He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children.  

Psalm 113:9

While we did not have children, God provided so many little ones in our lives for us to love.  I feel like Brandon and I are surrogate uncle and aunt to so many children that were put in our lives for a reason.  Everyone is different, but I wanted to be around children when we were struggling.  It made me feel better to hold a tiny baby or chase toddlers.  Even spending time with older kids consoled my heart.

So this brings me to the photo I saw on Facebook yesterday.  I know that my heart will be overjoyed when Elliana is born and placed upon my chest.  I will marvel at her beautiful face and kiss her little hands and toes.  Brandon and I will rejoice together with smiles and tears at the beautiful gift God has given to us.  She will be a constant reminder of our faith and hope in God.  It will be difficult to not think of all the families longing to become parents.  That's why these photos that circulate the internet sting.  My heart can only imagine having seen this picture a year ago and the tears that would have fallen.

At first this photo enraged me.  It seemed hurtful to me because I thought of all of my friends still living without children.  My friends who have pursued infertility treatment and are still without children.  My friends who have gone through adoption scenarios to be left unmatched.  The image left me bitter thinking about how unfair the world is and that it's not right to say that having your children is the best thing that ever happened to you. After dwelling on the premise behind this picture I was able to see the big picture.

Being a believer, the best thing that ever happened to me was Jesus coming into my life.  

He sought after me when I ran so many times from Him.  Our infertility journey once more brought me back to Him and I have not wanted to run this time.  God made the ultimate sacrifice sending His only son to die for us and provide us with eternal life and salvation.  Without our (Brandon and myself) faith in God, our journey would be meaningless.  From the moment we let God in and trusted Him with our situation everything changed.  Our journey remained difficult, but we knew that while we could not see the big picture, God could.  His love for us demonstrates true love between a parent and child.  While we ran from him trying to do it all on our own, he continued to pursue us.  He loved us so much to entrust us with this journey knowing that we would share with everyone the great things He has done for us.

So yes, I do know that being pregnant is a miracle of a gift.  I will love my little girl to pieces once she's here.  But she will not be defined as the best thing that ever happened to me.  My life won't begin and end with her.  

Swelling, Carpal Tunnel, and the Belly

When I saw Dr. Mac yesterday, we did talk about the pain I've been feeling in my hands.  It's pretty much Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.  Apparently it's common during pregnancy.  See article here.

The pain started out of nowhere this weekend.  I have been noticing more swelling as time moves on, but there was no pain associated with it.  By no means is it anything unbearable, but it is uncomfortable.

In other swelling news, my legs and ankles are huge by the end of the day!  I take many breaks while doing stuff around the house, but the swelling is here to stay.  Our church prepares dinner on Wednesday evenings so I showed up at 3:30 pm yesterday to help.  The meal was delicious (as always)!  Once I got home around 8 pm my ankles looked awful.  When I know that I'm going to be on my feet for a while I wear sneakers.  This is the aftermath...

The socks I was wearing had hearts on them, so I had hearts imprinted on my legs!!  The funny thing is that my ankles and feet didn't hurt too much at all.  They were just funny to look at!

My Dad helps cook at church on Wednesday evenings and he made the remark that I looked bigger than I did on Sunday.  I believe him!  I actually feel bigger and have been gaining some weight this week.  I anticipate weighing 160 lbs by my weigh-in on Saturday morning.

Adult Large t-shirts are now tight over my belly.  

The linea nigra is growing up past my belly button now.  My belly button stays out about 99% of the time except for when I lay on my back and Elliana shifts position.

The belly doesn't look as big from this angle but it's definitely hanging out there.  I cannot imagine how big I will look by the end of the month.  I may end up with some stretch marks on my tummy before Elliana makes her grand arrival.

Rant:  My growing belly is now starting to cause me much more discomfort.  My back only hurts when Elliana is nestled under my right rib.  It doesn't matter if I sit or stand, my back aches.  The belly also makes bending over incredibly difficult.  Sometimes I cannot even roll myself out of bed.  I scoot my legs off of the bed and wait for them to find the floor and I do a weird slide off of the bed.  Rolling over is also difficult and I'm sure that I'm funny to watch.  It was almost impossible to carry Nesia on my right hip last night because of Elliana.

Realization:  With all of that being said, I still find myself so very blessed to be carrying this big belly around.  In the tearfully pain moments I remind myself that we prayed for this child and waited for God to give her to us.  There are so many women who would give anything to be in my shoes right now.  This pain and uncomfortable-ness will pass and our lives will be filled with joy.

51 days until our due date...

April 3rd Appointment

Let me begin by saying that I just love Dr. McKenzie, aka Dr. Mac.  He is such a sweet and gentle man with a calming presence.  We couldn't have picked a better doctor!

Here's a rundown from our appointment:

• We heard Elliana's heartbeat and it was around 145 bpm.  
• Dr. Mac said that my blood pressure looks great, which is usually something he worries about in first pregnancies.  
• My body is swelling, but he said it's nmuch better compared to other women.  He did look worried when he saw me wearing a ring, but I assured him that its a much larger size than I typically wear.  
• He measured my fundal height and we're growing on track.
• He assured us that we will NOT have a big baby, but he sees us having a healthy 7 lb or so little girl.  
• Elliana is breeched again, with her head up under my left rib.  He took my hand to show me where to feel her little head and did the same with Brandon as well. 

Our next appointment is scheduled for April 17 at 34w4d with Dr. Mac.  That will be my last two week appointment and I'll start weekly appointments from there.  We're really in the home stretch now!

Dr. Mac said that he'd be interested to see Elliana's position at my next appointment.  We still have time for her to move into the head down position.  He hopes that she will be ready in position by 36 or 37 weeks gestation.  He said that we would have to consider either manipulating her or c-section at that point if she is not cooperating.  Thankfully, Dr. Mac understands our desire to have a vaginal delivery and is very positive about Elliana moving on her own before then.  If a c-section becomes necessary for us, I would still prefer to wait until closer to our actual due date as long as all is well with Elliana and myself.  In the past year and a half I've already had two different surgeries and one hospital stay.  I would prefer as little time in the hospital as possible, but I will not let those thoughts consume me unless they are a reality.  

God has brought us this far and Brandon and I will both continue to trust Him.  He's the only one who knows how it will all go!  I do have complete faith in His plan and Elliana's arrival.

April Fool's Day for the Infertile

There are many difficult days in the life of a couple facing infertility.  Going to the grocery store, doctor's offices, and to church can be brutal.  It's not like you can become a hermit and not face the world outside your home.

I was exposed to infertility through my sister-in-law's journey to conceive when I first met Brandon.  She was so open to share with me, but I still did not understand her feelings and desire to have a child.  It took Brandon and I being married and experiencing month after month of negative pregnancy tests to finally know how she felt.  Our two journeys were so different, but we both pursued IVF to expand our families.  She endure multiple attempts along the way to conceive her now almost 4 year old son.

Brandon and I were lucky in our journey that our first FET attempt was successful.  There are no "givens" when going through treatment, and you're constantly hoping and praying to be one of the positive statistics.

That brings me to this day.  I love practical jokes as much as the next person, but joking about being on pregnant on April Fool's Day is cruel.  On this day last year, I had just recovered from my second reproductive surgery and was waiting through a 6-week time period to begin IVF.  Our initial plan to start the IVF process had already been cancelled and both Brandon and myself were devastated.  When I saw on Facebook that day that people who I knew were joking about being pregnant...  wow.  There are no words.    Would you joke about having cancer?  Would you joke about having any other disease?  Most individuals who have not struggled to conceive children have no idea that INFERTILITY IS DEFINED AS A DISEASE OF THE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM by the World Health Organization (WHO).

I gave up Facebook for Lent and it was easier than I had imagined.  Writing here is more important to me.  I've struggled about making too many posts (on FB) about being pregnant, because those posts broke my heart when we were trying to get pregnant.  There are no ultrasound pictures or intentional pregnancy bump photos of myself on my page.  I have chosen to keep all of that within my blog.  My readers/followers must choose to look at my posts or pictures.  It doesn't hurt my feelings to lose a follower because I've "unfollowed" my fair share of blogs throughout the course of our infertility journey.

Just because I am pregnant and awaiting my daughter's arrival does not mean that I am still not plagued with negative thoughts from infertility each day.  It's not something that you just get over.  There's no magical cure-not even having a child.  

Easter Weekend

We had a great weekend with Nate and Beth!  Driving to Northport to pick them up wan't much fun, and on the ride back Nate kept asking me if I was ok.  It was hard to get comfortable, especially when I could feel my tummy sitting on top of my legs! Haha!

Beth helped me in the kitchen a lot.  We made room for some of the kitchen items for Elliana and we cooked all weekend long!  I could sit and write down everything that we did, but that would be boring and look like we did nothing at all.

This is us on the way to our church's worship service Friday evening

Since we had extra hands, Brandon was able to get some stuff hung on the wall in Elliana's room.  It looks so much better in there now since the walls aren't bare!

The picture frame under her initials says "God danced the day you were born."

Her hair bow holder adds a LOT of color to the room and it lets me display all of the bows I've hand made for her.

In between the superhero pictures I plan on adding some black and white photos from our maternity photo shoot (in early May) and some newborn pictures once she's here.  

To say that our daughter's room is unique is an understatement.  I love that her crib is one of the giveaways that this is a room for a baby.  I absolutely despise the term nursery, and didn't want a bunch of baby-like pictures and such on the wall.  I've got one collage made from the transfer day that I need to have printed, but I'm very happy with the way her room is looking so far!

We went to Sunrise Service at church yesterday at 6 am.

I can't believe I got both of them up and they got dressed with no complaints!  Nate said he just didn't look at his phone for a while so he wouldn't know what time it was.

Brandon (and my Dad) were at the church around 5 am to prepare breakfast.  We also stayed for the 8:30 am service that we typically attend and then came home.  We had about an hour to rest before we had to drive to my Gran's in Pleasant Grove.  We all had a nice lunch and then Brandon and I came home.  Mom had the cutest Easter basket for us.

Brandon has wanted the Alabama National Championship Watch from the 2009 season for a long time now.  Uncle Chuck had a connection and helped Mom find this for him.  Brandon was super excited!
I also LOVE the onesie that Mom found for baby girl!  

I slept for about 1.5-2 hours before Walking Dead came on last night and then I was back in bed at 9:30 pm.  If you can believe it, I slept in until 8:30 am today.  Elliana is making me super tired these days!

This is random, but my hands and feet have been killing me for the past two days.  If I make a fist, my hands ache.  They are very puffy and all of my rings swell onto my fingers.  I noticed yesterday that my feet feel the same way.  I'm hoping this is just something strange and it goes away.  I'm seeing Dr. McKenzie this week so I'm sure that I'll bring it up to him.

I think it's also important to note that Elliana kicked for Beth.  My sister is the ONLY person to feel her move other than both Brandon and myself.  People touch my belly all the time but they never feel her move because she "shys away."  Plus I'm getting close to telling people to keep their hands to themselves.  My stomach hurts so much now and I do NOT like to be touched!  But it was so special for Beth to feel her move.  She made sure to tell everyone at church at Gran's that she's the only other person to feel the baby move.  I know that Elliana loves her Aunt Roo already!