This shared post on Facebook caught my eye.
I am thrilled to be pregnant, carrying my daughter and first born child. I think everyone who knows Brandon and myself are pretty sure that we're over the moon excited about becoming parents. BUT is life less meaningful without children? I do not think it is. Brandon and I struggled greatly when trying to conceive, but we still had children in our lives. We volunteered in the nursery at church to hold the babies and the parents allowed us to love on their children. It may not be exactly the same, but we both could attempt to fill that void by helping our friends with their kids.
He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children.
Psalm 113:9While we did not have children, God provided so many little ones in our lives for us to love. I feel like Brandon and I are surrogate uncle and aunt to so many children that were put in our lives for a reason. Everyone is different, but I wanted to be around children when we were struggling. It made me feel better to hold a tiny baby or chase toddlers. Even spending time with older kids consoled my heart.
So this brings me to the photo I saw on Facebook yesterday. I know that my heart will be overjoyed when Elliana is born and placed upon my chest. I will marvel at her beautiful face and kiss her little hands and toes. Brandon and I will rejoice together with smiles and tears at the beautiful gift God has given to us. She will be a constant reminder of our faith and hope in God. It will be difficult to not think of all the families longing to become parents. That's why these photos that circulate the internet sting. My heart can only imagine having seen this picture a year ago and the tears that would have fallen.
At first this photo enraged me. It seemed hurtful to me because I thought of all of my friends still living without children. My friends who have pursued infertility treatment and are still without children. My friends who have gone through adoption scenarios to be left unmatched. The image left me bitter thinking about how unfair the world is and that it's not right to say that having your children is the best thing that ever happened to you. After dwelling on the premise behind this picture I was able to see the big picture.
Being a believer, the best thing that ever happened to me was Jesus coming into my life.He sought after me when I ran so many times from Him. Our infertility journey once more brought me back to Him and I have not wanted to run this time. God made the ultimate sacrifice sending His only son to die for us and provide us with eternal life and salvation. Without our (Brandon and myself) faith in God, our journey would be meaningless. From the moment we let God in and trusted Him with our situation everything changed. Our journey remained difficult, but we knew that while we could not see the big picture, God could. His love for us demonstrates true love between a parent and child. While we ran from him trying to do it all on our own, he continued to pursue us. He loved us so much to entrust us with this journey knowing that we would share with everyone the great things He has done for us.
So yes, I do know that being pregnant is a miracle of a gift. I will love my little girl to pieces once she's here. But she will not be defined as the best thing that ever happened to me. My life won't begin and end with her.