My First Mother's Day

You would think that I would have been looking forward to this day all week.  Don't get me wrong, I have!  I had a realization earlier this week that I didn't have to be sad on this Mother's Day.  Elliana may not be here yet but I am a Mother.  I don't have to skip church or hide from Facebook today.

Last year Brandon and I escaped to the beach with Brian and Sheri on Mother's Day weekend.  I had just finished a crazy week at work and also received my IVF calendar in the mail.  I keep recounting all that we were going through this time last year.

When we have infant baptisms at church now, I only cry because I can just see Brandon and I standing before the church dedicating our own child to the Lord.  So much has changed, but I still feel scarred from what we endured to get here.  I feel guilt for wanting my water to break or contractions to start.  I feel bad for wanting the pregnancy to end so I can meet Ellie.  I should still enjoy being pregnant, but my anticipation builds each day that we get closer to our due date.  I am grateful for the gift of pregnancy because of Elliana, but my body is so tired and nothing could have prepared me for this part of the journey.

Coming home from dinner last night I told Brandon that it still doesn't seem quite real.  Nine months have flown by and he and I have gotten used to seeing my belly grow larger each week.  Feeling her kick and jab has become common.  My bladder stays full, and I'm just getting used to people staring at my tummy and asking me when she's due.  But she is real; an answered prayer.  She will be here soon and our lives will change forever.  I've always hated that statement, but it's true.  It won't be just the two of us anymore.

For me, it was never about just having a baby.  I truly realized that yesterday while we were at lunch and little six year old girl's eyes caught mine.  Then we were at the store and I saw a girl about the same age grocery shopping with her mom.  Having a baby is going to be amazing, but I can't wait for ALL of it.  The tea parties, birthdays, shopping trips, and even the fights.  I can't wait to see Brandon dance with his little girl and teach her about superheroes.  I cannot believe that God trusted us with this gift of a child.  As hard as it would have been, I would have still loved Him if we never had a baby of our own.  Today I am thankful to celebrate this Mother's Day knowing that Elliana can be here any day now.  Thank you, God.  You are so good and I continue to be amazed by your love.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the women in my life.  All women are mothers in their own right.  God provided me many opportunities to "mother."  My prayers today are with all of the women longing to be mothers.

The Wide Spectrum of Mothering

To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you 

To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you 

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food

stains – we appreciate you 

To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and

disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is 

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you 

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you 

To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you 

To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you 

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience 

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst 

To those who have aborted children - we remember them and you on this day

To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children - we mourn

that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be 

To those who step-parent - we walk with you on these complex paths 

To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren, yet that dream is not to be - we

grieve with you 

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you 

To those who placed children up for adoption – we commend you for your selflessness and

remember how you hold that child in your heart 

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. 

Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. 

We remember you.

Amy Young

38 Weeks and Bumpdate

How many weeks:
38 Weeks

How big is Ellie:
The size of a pumpkin.


Maternity Clothes:
I have one dress from my summer wardrobe that I was able to wear this week.  Other than that, it's all maternity mixed in with some XL t-shirts and leggings when I'm in the house.

Weight Gain Alert!
162 lbs
Gained this week:  0 lbs
Total weight gain:  39 lbs

Movement:

Food Cravings:
I drink a LOT of water throughout the day and want to eat fruit mostly.  Since the belly dropped, I have more room to eat larger meals but I'm not that hungry anymore except for at dinner time

Food Aversions:
Fried food seems disgusting.

My Current Eating Pattern:
It's been difficult for me to eat during the day.  Nausea has made me feel all but miserable when it comes to food during the day.  I drink a lot of water and Ginger Ale and snack.

Symptoms:
NESTING, a little bit more energy mixed with FATIGUE, sciatic pain, frequent urination, some fatigue after moving about, carpal tunnel syndrome, acid reflux, indigestion after meals, pregnancy brain, clumsiness, loss of balance, emotional, weepiness, potty mouth, tender and growing belly, occasional breast tenderness, leakage of colustrum, sense of confusion at times, vision changes, swollen feet and hands, awesome hair!, long nails!, "pregnancy glow"

Sleep:
I've actually been sleeping a little bit better as far as pain in concerned.  I still get up to go to the potty frequently, but I'm usually able to go back to sleep quickly.

What do I miss:
I do miss having energy for small everyday tasks.

Best moment of the week:
Getting everything organized and put away for our baby girl, and having help from Kate with the process

Worst moment of the week:
This weird nausea that I have each morning.  I didn't have morning sickness in the first trimester so this is all new to me!
Not progressing at our second cervical check.  I'm so ready to meet our daughter!

What am I looking forward to:
Meeting Elliana Joy Boyington for the first time and celebrating my first Mother's Day.

Milestones:
We're now TWO WEEKS away from our estimated due date.  We've made it through this pregnancy without any major issues and I am grateful for that.

"Ellie isn't so little anymore and is most likely weighing close to seven pounds and measuring around 20 inches in length.  Her fetal development is nearly complete as she's shedding her vernix and lanugo.  Ellie's also producing MORE surfactant, which prevents the air sacs in her lungs from sticking to one another once she starts breathing.  Most changes in her development are now small, but still very important!  She's still adding fat and fine-tuning her brain and nervous system."
from What to Expect When You're Expecting

Bumpdate

Diary Blogging for May 8-10

I've been extremely tired for the past few days.  I've been waking up around 3:30-4 am not able to go back to sleep.  I made hairbows one morning and worked on my scrapbook the next.  Kate came over on Thursday afternoon and helped me around the house.  She ran the vacuum cleaner and even cleaned the baseboards in my hallway!  She put away the remainder of Ellie's clothes we received at our last baby shower and helped me clean out my closet.

Even if I'm able to sleep in until 7 am I still need a nap.  I'm trying to get at least a two-hour nap every day.  My body feels like it's starting to wear down, but I did run myself ragged over the past month and a half.

When I'm out in public people just stare at me because my belly has grown so large.  An older gentleman in WalMart thought I was about to deliver in the check out line and helped me take out all of my purchases from the cart.

Driving in the car isn't that bad, but getting out is.  For me to comfortable reach the pedals, my belly is all but touching the steering wheel.  I have to move my seat backwards to get out and I still struggle.  I'm trying to limit my outings and only go somewhere when I don't have to drive.

My thoughts are all so jumbled right now.  I'm 38 weeks pregnant today and growing impatient.  Everyone says that babies are born when they're ready, but what about the mother?  I'm ready.  My body isn't super uncomfortable, but I long to hold Elliana in my arms.

May 8th Appointment and Cervical Check

Our cervical check was a little bit disappointing.  Since last week I've made no progress.  I was just sure that I'd have moved along with effacement and dilation but nothing.

Fingertip / 60% / -4

The results from my Group B Strep were negative so I will NOT require antibiotics at birth.  My blood pressure is still great, and I have no swelling issues.

I know that she will come when she's ready, but the anticipation is building now.  Everyone said that the last month of pregnancy would drag.  Well, I've stayed so busy that it hasn't until.  The days still pass quickly, but I am eager to hold my precious daughter in my arms.

Prayers Needed- Fellow Sister of Infertility Battling OHSS

A friend in an Infertility Support Group hosted by Toni is battling Ovarian Hyperstiumlation Syndrome (OHSS).  She's having nearly all of the same symptoms that I displayed after the Egg Retrieval portion of IVF last summer.

Her name is Celina.  Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.  OHSS is very scary and it's nothing to mess around with.  The risks are terrifying enough along with the let down of investing so much money and emotions into a cycle that may not be completed and has such severe complications.

Thank you!  God is in control, but I implore Him to wrap His arms around her and give her peace in the coming days.

Diary Blogging for May 6

It's amazing how much stuff I can fit into one day.  Being a stay-at-home-mom/wife is much harder work than anticipated!

Brandon and I stayed up Sunday evening organizing Ellie's bathroom, but there was still a LOT of work left to be done.  I woke up Monday morning completely overwhelmed by the amount of gifts still left to attend to.  Also, I'm a sucker for keeping all gift bags and tissue so I had to go through all of that and get it organized!

The sad part is that I have two bags like this already in the closet so I must consolidate them together.  Organizing has taken over my life in the past few days and I'd be on cloud nine if I had a label maker!

It took me a while, but I was able to get all of my dishes moved to the kitchen from the banquet, cleaned out my Vera bag to be my labor/delivery hospital bag, organized the pantry, organized the linen closet, and removed all winter Maternity clothes from my closet and put them in a tote.  It doesn't sound like much, but every small task accomplished takes so much energy for me now.

I had to travel to Alabaster to WalMart to buy MORE baby coat hangers and pick up photo prints from the weekend's events.  I promise you that I walked over half of the store on purpose for some exercise.  The attendant in the garden center asked me if I should be quickly heading home.  He thought I was about to have the baby right there in the store!  Too funny!!  Apparently I am super huge to ALL who see me now.  HeeHee.  Then I stopped by the store to see Paul and the girls, as well as to pick up my watch and necklace I had left the week prior.

By that time Brandon was finished with his work day so Dad brought him to meet me so we could head to Buy Buy Baby to purchase the last remaining items that we needed for Ellie's arrival.  That was exhausting!  Who knew that it could be so difficult to find the right size diaper changing pad for the changing table AND then find the correct sized sheet.

We only had to make a few small purchases and we were on our way.  I did get a little pissy when the girl messed up all of my coupons but we were both ready to go and I just didn't care anymore.  I was starving and my back was killing me!

We decided to splurge and eat at LaPaz!  It was so yummy, and it wasn't busy since it was only 6pm on a Monday evening.

I never get tired of looking at my husband.  I hope that my clinginess and mushiness towards him never fades.  Yes, we've been married almost 4 years now and together for 6, but my love for him grows every day.  He's even sexier now that he's the father of my daughter.  We may not lead an exciting life, but I enjoy sitting in my recliner beside him each evening.  I couldn't imagine growing old with anyone else but him.

This is what I had for dinner!  The Tamarind Citrus Chicken.  It's Teriyaki glazed chicken served over coconut rice with mango salsa and fresh avocado.  Don't worry, I cleaned my plate!

Brandon got the taco basket and couldn't finish his meal (pansy)!  We left stuffed and I was happy.  I was so stuffed that I bypassed the recliner and went straight to bed!  I needed to lay out since I had so much for dinner.

I did think to take a picture in the mirror before I changed into pajamas.  If you can believe it, the dress I'm wearing is NOT maternity.  It's just a medium sized dress from Old Navy that I purchased last summer.  I felt very pretty and comfortable yesterday.

Once I was laying down, I was waiting for a very important announcement on Facebook.

My dear friend, Liz, is expecting her second child.  We met in college and I remember her telling us that they wanted children but it had never happened.  She got pregnant with "Bugga" or "H" after we finished graduate school.  She had been trying for a second child only to find herself having trouble again.  I had been urging her to see the doctor sooner when they got pregnant with this second bundle of joy.  I just think it's a little girl and I'm calling her "Lil T" for now.

Moving on to today........
I started the day by seeing that a small mass had become a LARGE mass on our doggy's chin.  I took him to the vet and they sedated him to get samples to send off.  They think it's cancer.

He threw up in the vet's office and has just been acting different lately.  We are picking him up around 5 pm this afternoon (in about 2 hours) and will know what the mass is by the end of the week.  It's hard to see in the pictures, but the mass is over the size of a golf ball.  It doubled in size over night.  It's not infection because they drained it some while I was there and only got blood from it.

To say that we're upset is an understatement.  I cried after I left him at the vet.  Logan, aka Lil Buddy, is over 10 years old.  He's supposed to be happy and healthy and ready to play with the baby.  I will update on our furbaby as we know more.  Please keep him in your thoughts!

Mother Daughter Banquet 2013

It's amazing what a difference a year makes.  My new cycle began with the Mother Daughter Banquet last year that prepared us for IVF.  I had my reservations about attending and hosting a table, but moved forward with the event and had a great time.  It was that night that helped me open up even more at church and become more involved.

This event sponsored by the JULIETs (Jesus Unifying Ladies in the Eternal Truth) of the church helps raise money for the STEPs baby shower, Father's Day Fiesta, Women's Retreat, Beautiful Youth Trip, and 3rd Grade Princess Dinner.

This year is so exciting as we're anticipating Elliana's arrival.  Mom, Beth, Gran, and Granny attended with me this year.  (Next year Elliana will have her own place setting!).

We host tables each year with the theme of our choice.  I decided to make Elliana the theme and named my table "Elliegance."  My decor was simple with a pink table cloth, my parent's wedding china, monogrammed silverware, tall stemmed glasses, and gifts for my guests for Mother's Day.

Our welcome table with name tags, coloring books for the little girls, and voting slips for the tables

Eleanna with her table guests.  She and her Mother do such a great job preparing all of their (6-8) tables each year!  I just hope to be planning my table themes in the coming years with Miss Ellie.

The men in the church served at the banquet this year.  Last year there was mass chaos with the table hostesses getting drinks for each table, and there was a long line at the service buffet.  We all enjoyed being waited on by the men in our lives.  Both Brandon and Daddy served.  Everyone was so tickled at my Dad asking if he had been a waiter growing up.  He had plates lined up his arms!

Daddy beside the Christmas themed table

Brandon in the kitchen with a scary smile

The men did a fabulous job serving and even made an assembly line to make our desserts

I don't even have words

On the day before the event, the photographer let Eleanna know that she couldn't make it.  We were both stressed out and upset at the thought of not having someone taking pictures during the event.  I texted Randal and she was more than willing to photograph the evening for us.

I'm pretty sure she took around 800 pictures of the evening!

Myself and Momma
I think the resemblance here is unreal and our hair is the exact same color now!!

Beth, Myself, and Momma

I absolutely love my little sister.  She's finally the age where we can talk and do fun stuff together.  She's so helpful since I'm so big, and I just know she's going to be great with the baby.  Ellie will love her Aunt Roo since they'll be closer together in age than her other aunts and uncles.

Brandon with Nesia

Me with Nesia
Her dress was so cute!

Granny had never been to our church before.  She was overwhelmed with the kindness from all of the women.  She's currently trying to sell her house to move to Calera.  There's no doubt where she'll be attending church once she moves.

With Katherine!

Beth

Haha

Momma

The banquet is my favorite event that we have each year at church.  This was my second year to participate and I plan on being at each and every banquet in the future!  Every year will become more memorable with my precious daughter present, making this event a tradition for my family.

Faith Family Baby Shower

Our church hosted a baby shower for us in honor of Elliana yesterday.  It was so much fun.  Joy was my official hostess, but Katherine, Kathy, and Carolyn helped her with food preparations, and Tiffany was there helping set up.

Shannon spent some much needed time with her husband, but sweet Berta came and took pictures of the shower.  It's apparent that she too has a gifted eye for photography.

Bottles and booties, diapers and more

Let's shower Elliana Joy with gifts galore!

Please join us for a shower honoring

Courtney and Brandon Boyington

Sunday, May 5th 2-3:30 pm

Calera First United Methodist Church

Registered at:  Buy, Buy, Baby and Target

I held onto the board and scrapbook paper that Liz had used with my previous baby shower.  I absolutely love the idea of forgoing a traditional guest book for attendees to leave well wishes instead.

I did arrive a little bit early to set up my own table with some special items.  Included are Elliana's gender scan photo, our ART fertility bear, "worth the wait" bibb, baby girl wreath, pink cowgirl boots, and bump photo scrapbook.

Miss Wendy was not able to attend my baby shower this weekend, but she did prepare the cake.  It was so pretty and yummy too!

The food was great too.  Joy had fruits and veggies for me along with some chips and salsa (in honor of Cinco de Mayo), some awesome chicken salad made by Carolyn, and sausage balls fixed by Katherine.

I have no idea what I'm pointing at or saying.

With Joy, my beautiful hostess!
My life would be dramatically different without her.

It's so much fun to be pregnant because you get to fix your plate first and it never matters how many times you go back for "seconds."

With my fabulous hostess, Joy.

Joy, myself, and Katherine
These ladies have provided us with nothing but support and encouragement in the past two years.
They are going to love Elliana so much!

These girls are absolutely hilarious!
I already have such fun and trustworthy babysitters ready for Elliana.  

I seriously have no idea of my size until I see pictures!  I look in the mirror, but it's not the same. But I know that when I see my reflection, I see the amazing miracle of my "bigness."  

I must be enjoying my food?  I was especially tired yesterday after spending two days preparing for the banquet and maternity pictures.

Nesia only stayed for a short while at the baby shower.  She and Grandmommy left to go take a nap!

The Gift Portion of the Baby Shower

I was definitely amazed at the presents!  It felt like it took forever for me to open everything.  Not everyone could attend, but they still sent gifts for Elliana.  We are so blessed by our astounding faith family!

Yes, I wore my house shoes.  I had packed my flip flops to wear but never put them on!
Nobody seemed to mind.

Gifts from Mom and Beth

Gifts from Mom and Beth

Gifts from Brittany

From Grandmommy to Elliana

It's a beautiful gown with her monogram on top!
LaShawn also brought me back a beautiful scarf from the Holy Land.

Christie made this beautiful blanket and two burp cloths for Ellie.

Me tearing up at Eleanna's card.

I had no idea that the bumbo chair also came with a cover!  

"Does this diaper make my butt look big?"

It got a thumbs up from Joy!

A diaper cake made by Aunt Penny

Bath time stuff from Beverly

I love ALL things monogrammed!

Miss Elaine gave us the cutest little outfits!

Going through all of the goodies that Tiff and O got for Ellie.

A Willow Tree statue of a family holding their newborn from Tiffany!

A picture frame from Dee that reads a verse  from 1 Samuel.
We plan on putting Elliana's baptism picture in this frame!

Opening my gift from Joy, Katherine, and Kathy.
They purchased us a travel swing for Elliana.

Brandon showed up at the scheduled end of my shower, but I was still opening gifts!
You can tell that I'm absolutely exhausted.

 The Aftermath of the Gifts

Our faith family has been amazing during our infertility and pregnancy journey.  We have had so much support from everyone and cannot wait to share Elliana with them.  This baby girl is going to have so many honorary aunts and uncles!

Once the shower was over, everyone helped clean up and get the gifts to the car.  Clay and some of the youth were up at the church and Brandon joined them in a Nerf gun war.  They were hilarious!  We sat around talking for a while and then I had to get home.  Mom came back over with us and she and Brandon assembled the baby swing.  After Mom left, I showed Brandon ALL of the gifts we received and then we started organizing.  I'll post more about that later.

I've got my work set out for me today with more baby organization, baby laundry, and overall getting ready for Miss Ellie's grand entrance!