Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Dr Appointment Needed ASAP for Me

My birth story is in progress; its difficult to just throw words down on a paper or a computer screen when it's something this intimate. 

My post will make more sense as my birth experience is shared......I had to call after hours at my OB office around 9 pm. 

Labor and deliver put my body through a lot and left me with a second degree episiotomy. The forceps were required to get Elliana out as well. 

To those who are unfamiliar, the episiotomy is a doctor made incision that aids in guiding the baby through birth canal. They are classified either first, second, or third degree depending on the severity of the cut. "A second degree involves the incision of the skin and muscle and that extends midway between the vagina anus."
source: http://www.surgeryencyclopedia.com/Ce-Fi/Episiotomy.html

Overall the episiotomy has not caused me much discomfort.  On the other hand, the tearing so close to my rectum has been the source of great agonizing pain that left me nearly unable to walk for days.  This is why I've not blogged- I literally could not sit down. The simplest of tasks that required sitting straight up caused me to break down in tears. Standing just long enough to walk across a room was near impossible. My heart has hurt that I've not been able to care more for Elliana. 

This leads to tonight. I had made so much healing and progress. I noticed pain before dinner but didn't think much of it, only that I got behind on my pain medication and that could be the problem. We went out to dinner and grabbed some items I needed at Target and came home. While in Target my bottom began hurting and I knew it was time rest. The pain goes down my right leg now. It appears that my episiotomy has torn near my rectum.  It may not even be my episiotomy at all, but a complete tear in my rectum.

Brandon started back working yesterday, but will have to go with me to the doctor today. I cannot drive with my pain medication, and there's a possibility that I will be sewn up again. I've had all night to process.  I was devastated last night and did nothing but cry. I know that God is in control, but I will be honest that I've questioned him so much in the past week. Why is this happening to me? I don't see how this is a part of his plan and my journey.  Please pray for my understanding and for peace through my pain.

I've really put myself out there and shared something very intimate. Our birth story will elaborate more in detail and you will understand what I mean by a rough delivery. Please leave only kind and supportive comments. You truly have no idea how hard the past week has been for me not being able to do simple things for my daughter. I know that all women have pain after a vaginal delivery, but this surpasses anything that I could ever have expected.  I've been dealing with people in real life trying to tell me about their experiences and wive's takes when they have no idea how severe my pain and recovery has been. Any negative comments will be removed

19 comments:

  1. Please update me after your appointment. All I can say is you are doing a great job in a painful and difficult situation. Sending a huge hug!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Praying for you, for healing and for peace. Remember you can only do as much as you can do. God never gives us more than we can handle and you will overcome this as well because He will give you the strength to do so.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sending lots of love and prayers to you, Brandon, and sweet Miss E. You are a strong and amazing woman. Thank you for your willingness to allow others to join you on this journey. And also know I'm just a phone call away if you need ANYTHING.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh man.. I'm so sorry Courtney! I can't imagine! Congratulations on sweet Elliana and I hope your recovery will be swift and they can help you with the pain.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Courtney, I am praying for you. I am so sorry that you are dealing with all this pain. I cannot even imagine how hard it must be. I am also sorry that people are being rude. Everyone's experience is different, and unless other people can feel what you feel, they just don't know. I apologize for their ignorance. I also pray for peace and calm when you don't understand what the plan is. That is such a hard place to be. I am sure that you are giving peace to others without even knowing.. simply by sharing. Praying for you my friend. and Thanks you for being so brave

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time. Just hang in there and update when you can!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am so sorry you've been through so much. It seems unfair you've had to endure such a rough recovery after enduring such a long process to get her here. I'm so glad you're on the mend. If you need anything at all, please contact me. I know it sounds ridiculous since we don't even know each other but I really do feel for you. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you're in.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thinking and praying for you. I'm sorry that the healing process has been so long and difficult.

    ReplyDelete
  9. praying for quick healing. I'm sorry you are in so much pain.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hoping that the doctor can find some way to give you much needed relief from the pain. My mom said they never got to cut her that tore her coming shoulder first out the birth canal. Good gravy I can only imagine the pain you must be in.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Give us an update when you can! I can't imagine how bad it hurts.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter! I am so sorry you had such a rough delivery, and can totally symphatize with you. I also had a third degree with my first with the help of a forcep so I can totally understand what you are going through now with your recovery! I wish you a speedy one and congratulations again. She is absolutely gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Congratulations on your daughter. Please stay strong. You CAN do this and GOD IS GOOD. He will never give you something you cannot handle. Things will get better. Its just a process :) Always email me if you need positive words! You have a blog friend here :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I had an episiotomy and forceps delivery with my first daughter who weighed in at 9 lbs. I was in agony for a couple of weeks, I really empathise with you. Take one day at a time. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh boy I am so sorry to hear this, I thought the c-section was painful but I think this might be more painful due to the location. A co-worker had her baby on the same day as you and she had a 3rd degree and she was required to stay in the hospital and the baby was release before her. I hope it gets better!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. :( Praying for you for healing, but also for peace about your birth story. Question Him all you want - as long as y'all are talking. Love you! Hang in there. You CAN do this.

    ReplyDelete
  17. So sorry that this happened/is happening. It sounds miserable. Praying for healing.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sorry you've been in so much pain. Again it sounds like we've had similar delivery as well!

    My best advice is make sure you've got the best meds you can to stay on top of the pain. It's much easier to control pain when you don't let it become severe (my going a period without meds).. Set a timer and take everything as soon as you can. This really helped me after birth xxx

    ReplyDelete
  19. Praying for that pain to go away quick so you can enjoy that beautiful gift!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for visiting my blog! I appreciate your comments and support on our journey.

As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.
Psalm 71:14