Saturday, March 10, 2012

Emotions everywhere and The Big Picture

I'm so tired.  My boss has us compare other stores yesterday.  We spent at least an hour at each store.  What I thought would be an easy day kept me up on my feet as much as at work!  As soon as I left work I came home and propped my feet up.  There was a women's meeting at church, but I was truly afraid I would fall asleep if I went.  I watched a movie with Brandon and was in bed by 9pm (which is nothing out of the ordinary for me).

I'm trying to be more at peace about not being able to TTC this cycle.  One minute I feel that I am fine with it, and the rest of the time I am not.  I've never seen so many pregnant women in my life.  I feel like every time I turn my head there's a reminder.  My prayer is for peace and patience through the remainder of this month.  My heart is so heavy.  Brandon and I cannot even have discussions that somehow don't revolve back to cycling.  We've had more intense discussions this week than we ever have through this entire process. At this point, I will count myself lucky that Brandon desires a child as much as I do.  Most women going through this do not have husbands who care as much as Brandon.  I couldn't imagine how much worse this whole situation could be if he wasn't so open to talking through all of the scenarios. 

I'm sorry for the sad posts lately.  I'm still trying to find my silver lining, promise. I know that within a few days I'll start feeling a bit better and be able to sit back and look at the big picture

1 comment:

  1. (Hugs) I'm sorry things haven't been easy lately and that you have had more down days as of late. I'm glad you and Brandon are at least strong and in this together, I know that can make things 100% easier when you aren't going it alone. Just take it one day at a time (easier said that done, I know) and it will get easier. You just have to grieve and the silver lining will come. It hurts, I know, but you will get your miracle. Keeping you both in my thoughts and remember you aren't alone.

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As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.
Psalm 71:14