While browsing new blogs for ICLW, I stumbled upon a poem. The author is unknown, but the words felt like they came straight from my heart. God did choose us for a reason. Yes, the pain of Infertility hurts, but we are called for a higher purpose.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." Jeremiah 29:11-14
What do I think God meant when He gave me Infertility?
I think He meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper.
I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time Infertility knocks us down.
I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols.
I think God meant for us to find a cure for fertility.
No, God never meant for me to not have children.
That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on.
I've been placed on the road less traveled, and like it or not, I'm a better person for it.
Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.
Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God singled me out for special treatment.
I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.
While I would never have chosen Infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could ever experience the joy that I know awaits me.
Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own.
And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice, I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when He handed me Infertility. I already know.
Here from ICLW. It is great to see how God is meeting you in your journey. I hope the destination is right around the corner.
ReplyDeleteI loved this post because this is exactly how after struggling with infertility for so long, how I feel it's brought my husband and I closer together as well. It's almost been a blessing in disguise if you can call it that. I would never wish it upon anyone, but if you can find a silver lining admist all the suffering and pain, it would be that it's made us a stronger couple and made our yearning for a child that much stronger. I know our marriage is stronger than ever before, and for that I'm thankful. I've learned more about my husband and he's learned more about me as we struggled to deal with infertility together, so I guess in a way I owe that to infertility, as awful as that sounds. I wonder if looking back one day if I will be greatful for the time infertility gave us to grow stronger, weird right? We will both get our miracles soon, and fingers crossed we aren't waiting too much longer (hugs).
ReplyDeleteLove this post.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post. I was crying reading that because it is so true. I often think that about my marriage. After my last miscarriage it was suggested we seek counseling b/c these things can break marriages apart. I found that its the opposite that we are closer. Thank you so much for giving me a new perspective on things today.
ReplyDeleteKatie
Thank you Courtney for all your support on my blog. You are so so sweet! I hope you can start IVF soon, can't wait to see your progress. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI don't like infertility but it has made my husband and I stronger too. I hope your next cycle starts soon, hope all goes well!
ReplyDeleteStopping by from ICLW. Wow, what a powerful post. All my best to you!
ReplyDeleteGod is good all of the time and nothing is impossible with Him! So happy 4 u guys :-D
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