Wednesday, January 30, 2013

LIFE-Big Picture-Seasons

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.  He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.  You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.  Remain in me, as I also remain in you.  No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.  Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.  I am the vine; you are the branches.  If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
John 15:1-5 (NIV)

We all go through different seasons in our life.  In my own life, I have experienced seasons of love, engagement, marriage, and infertility.  I will always identify with the label of infertility, but I feel that we have conquered that season.  As May approaches, Brandon and I are entering the season of parenthood.

When my brother-in-law and sister-in-law were trying to conceive, I did not understand a lot of what they were going through.  I knew that my sister-in-law was hurting inside, but I could not even begin to imagine how she felt.  When they began their third IVF cycle, they were so immersed in God's word.  Their church was praying (and even fasting) for them daily.  Their third IVF cycle conceived their son.  In that cycle, I could see a change in her and the peace that radiated from her.

I can remember reading the above scripture shortly after they were pregnant.  "Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."  I had not read that scripture in a long time, and it was one verse that we read during LIFE on Sunday.  God pruned me while we were in the midst of our infertility journey.  I still have flaws, but he took away the bitterness and (most of) the jealousy I felt towards those who conceived easily.

I truly believe that God has a plan for everyone.  In this, I do not think that God picks and chooses people to be fertile and infertile.  When you're trying to conceive, you hear so often from other Christian's to wait for God's timing.  As much as it's one of the hardest pieces of advice to hear- it's true.  I know that Sheri hurt terribly when she was trying to get pregnant.  All women do.  But, Sheri's journey helped me when we started trying to conceive.  And our journey prompted me to blog.  From my blog I have reached so many other women facing infertility.  Because of infertility, my husband and I have a stronger relationship with one another, and a stronger faith in God that He will provide.

I did get a glimpse of the "big picture" before we were pregnant.  I know that not so many others are as lucky.  Brandon and I always had hope that we would become pregnant with a child of our own.  We were either so hopeful or stubborn that we knew we wouldn't give up until we were parents.  When I look in the mirror and see my reflection, I'm still amazed that I'm pregnant.  There are many other women who are not as lucky, and I am thankful each day that Ellie continues to grow within me.  My prayer is not for other infertile women to just become pregnant, but to grow within their season, strengthen their relationships, seek help, love themselves, love God, and see "the big picture."  


Thank you for visiting my blog! I appreciate your comments and support on our journey.

As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.
Psalm 71:14