Tuesday, April 10, 2012


Janet, the IVF nurse, called me twice today.

On our first call she talked to me about my SIS next week.  She called in a prescription for Valium to take the day of the procedure.

She called again later after looking further at my chart.  When we filled out our initial paperwork for ART, we did list that Brandon dips (Skoal).  This was NEVER addressed at any of our office visits.  At our last appointment with Dr. Allemand, we said that we wanted to move forward with IVF.  Why was this not mentioned then?  We must now wait at least 45 days until we begin our IVF cycle.  I am crushed. .  They also want us to freeze more sperm with them.  We already have 11 vials frozen, all from UAB.  Our entire process has involved a lot of WAITING.

I waited to ovulate for four months after stopping birth control.  I waited an appropriate amount of time to seek help from a Reproductive Endocrinologist.  I waited four months to have insurance coverage for surgery.  I waited 2 agonizing weeks only to lose a pregnancy.  I waited to respond to countless injections.  I waited to have another surgery.  I waited for my period to come.  And now, again, I wait.

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:1


  1. So sorry. I know the feeling. Ive been at this going on 4 years now and just got the correct diagnosis. Hang in there. So the feel that the nicotine affects the sperm? And if so why are they having you freeze now?

    1. Brandon's sperm was greatly affected from cancer and chemo. They want to give us the best possible chance. They want to freeze more sperm after the 45 days in case we get a poor sample on the day of retrieval. On one of his particular samples, of the small quantity of sperm observed, only two were normal. It makes sense, but we both wish that they had mentioned this to us earlier. Quitting will be difficult for him, but he wants children as much or more than I do.

  2. I don't understand why it's their business if he dips or not? I hate that you're having to go through more _____ on your path, love. We're here if you need us.

  3. I just said something like this the other day to my Mom. I've spent the last 2 years waiting on the next appointment...the next test...period...ultrasounds. Ugghh sorry you had this bad news today.

  4. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I remember when I was trying I quit smoking 2 months before I actually got pregnant. I have always thought that had something to do with me actually getting pregnant. I know you're tired of waiting and all the pieces seem to not be coming together, but they will, and you do want the best possible chance the first time....I love you baby. Keep the faith and know God's plan is in His time. Lisa

  5. I my, that is a lot. I hope it all works out in the end, it usually does but the waiting is just painful. I fell for you both. Take care!

  6. I hate that infertility treatment is mostly spent just waiting. The worst feeling for people who really just want to be parents. So sorry to hear about the cycle being postponed. On the upside, perhaps this means that you will have an even better shot when you do your IVF cycle to have your take home baby (or two?)!


  7. ::big hug:: I am so sorry. What a crushing oversight on their part. Hang in there girl, all the waiting is going to be so worth it some day soon.

  8. I'm so sorry Courtney! I hate that you got worked up for this and have to deal with disappointment. I would be crushed.

    Praying for peace for you as you wait this out and definitely for Brandon. I've seen how hard it can be to cut out tobacco. Hoping you guys can get through this and are back on the IVF path in no time!

  9. I'm so sorry hun. What terrible news to hear. You're in my prayers.


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As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.
Psalm 71:14