When You've Hit Rock Bottom
Going through any type of trial is difficult. We are all faced with struggles in our lifetime. I'm sure that in twenty years, I'll look back on these days and realize that . . . . ( I lack the words to complete this sentence.)The past two years have been ___________ (you fill in the blank) difficult, trying, heartbreaking, depressing, sad, angry, etc.
Throughout our time trying to conceive, I have chronicled the vast array of emotions that I have felt here on my blog. Going through fertility treatment is often compared to roller coaster ride. Brandon and I have both felt many highs and lows emotionally along the way. I often feel like I'm running a never-ending marathon.
Our experience with IVF was uneventful up until the Egg Retrieval and Embryo Transfer. Let me tell you that I never wanted to experience everything that IVF had to offer- meaning Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome. Before June, I had never stayed in the hospital overnight, much less five days.
While Brandon and I were stuck at the hospital, we received many visitors, calls, texts, and emails. Our experience in the hospital was great in terms of the support that we received. It helped me to have visitors stop in; it made the day pass quickly.
Being hospitalized was an awful experience, but I didn't fully feel it's impact until I was back home. I cried like a baby once I saw the kitchen table full of my injection supplies. It's strange that I had no tears in the hospital, but cried a LOT once back home. Maybe it was because I had been so dehydrated.
What God Revealed to Me
Oh Court, so sorry. When we hear about IF being a roller coaster it sounds like cliche, but it really is a roller coaster and a very scary one. I'm sorry you have to go through this like many of us are, I don't wish it on anyone. You are a woman of much faith and hopefully someway or another this road will make all of us better. Like newbie commented one time, this process had made me less judgemental of others, more compassionate with others' suffering and more patient. I guess we have no other choice but to try and look at the bright side of things, what else is there? Big big hugs to you.
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